poetry

The difference between flying and falling. {poetry}

{Photo: pinterest.com}

{Photo via Pinterest}

The crisp new year comes rolling heavily into view, a large mass,

unstoppable and weighty, ill-defined in its enormity.

I feel small

and

unprepared.

My things are scattered around me in disarray and are sure to get crushed.

I feel an unprecedented urge

to gather, stack, inspect and organize.

I need to document past happenings and order them.

This sense of keeping, holding is so strong,

like grasping at damp weeds as the wind takes you, legs dangling, over the cliff,

arms pulled nearly out of their sockets.

Space and air around you and such a small part left in contact with the ground, with reality.

I was waiting to launch myself off the cliff.

I was ready with my hang glider,

to gracefully arc over the wide open space and soar into the air.

It’s funny really, although I never could work out in my mind

how I would actually

leave the ground.

I never considered that leaving where I am now could be so traumatic

panic-filled and that like

Lois Lane in Superman

I may have to free-fall for a bit before I get caught.

Only this time it won’t be a rescue.

I’ll learn to use my own wings by flapping wildly and crazily

Then I’ll remember to breathe and make space inside.

Expanding and calming until I begin to be light as a feather,

and catch a thermal that takes me up and up…

And here I am soaring, just like I knew I would be.

Let go of the edge.  Open the clawing hands — release and feel the cool wind

separate your fingers.  Understand the freedom of space, air, falling…

Leave behind solid ground, known places, confident achievements,

the sense of you-ness — who you are.

Lose it.

Just let it fly off

on the wind that rips past you

 At first with letting go,

you will be consumed with the sensations of falling,

the fear and the lurch

inside your body.

The racing images in your mind that make your forehead ache,

but there is only so long you can be entranced in this fear or excitement.

(You get to choose which.)

until you cannot help but notice how different everything is now.

You are more free to move than you have ever been before.

You are completely three-dimensional and it feels like

the air around you is a part of you…

and of course, it is.

You recognize that being separate from any of this is just an illusion.

A head filled with self-importance, an anxious mind,

wanting so much to prove itself,

make its mark and be remembered

when really the whole point is just to experience.

To live completely and spectacularly, a life so terrifyingly beautiful.

Without restraint,

like a shooting star, showering its sparks

briefly and then disappearing into darkness.

It’s an apparition of control to imagine the world when we are gone.

Instead you must bolster your strength, muster your resolve and power and

let your heart burst open wide with creativity, wonder and love spilling out

in a fantastic arc of mesmerizing daring — playful and wild.

Let go…

Dive into your experience.

Choose the things that make your skin tingle, that scare you half to death,

that no one else would or could ever dream of.

Be so fully and completely you that there is no doubt that you lived and it

was beautiful, the sparks flew and it felt good.

Fall

                Until

                                You

                                                Fly

 

…it’s the only way.

***

JemimaHouse06Jemima House is a yogini and writer who experiences regular bouts of unbearable lightness and needs to be upside down a lot. Walking the tightrope between angelically mellow and devilishly stubborn, she is a wandering star with a big heart. Also the owner of Positive Living UK, a unique network supporting and inspiring people in living their passion.

***

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