poetry

Until We Meet Again. {poetry}

 

So we meet again.

Falling to the floor like a newborn calf, I swear I was walking just seconds ago.

Face meets carpet and it feels like I’m screaming

No one would know I was home if they were standing outside my door

It’s like I’m running away while standing still

Spinning in circles while being sucked under the ground

I claw and I ache and I’m numb and I’m helpless

Your name used to dance so easily on my tongue

Your ice-skate blades turned my words to blood

Even this crimson river seems to whisper your name

So we meet again.

Crying in the shower because it’s the only time of day

where the salt water from my eyes mixes with the pounding shower current

embraced by the tears of one thousand lovers being washed down the drain,

my eyes blink you away while I pretend your arms are promising safety like they used to.

Do you remember when your arms were my home?

Do you remember when you promised you’d never leave me alone?

Do you remember when you promised?

Do you remember anything at all?

Your runaway hands left my hair in knots

I try to brush you out as the clumps fall to the floor

You always took a part of me with you

You always left me less of whatever I started as before

Your leaving kisses left my stomach in my throat

I try to swallow you down and get you out

You’re the taste in my mouth in the morning reminding me that I’m alone.

You’re the endless seconds turned into weeks spent staring at the phone

You are the worst demand and the best ache

from my brittle bones to my hollow heart

to the cold blood bringing color to my cheeks.

You are the released sigh telling me the pain is over

For but a moment I feel relief

You are the constant longing and the begging for slaughter

The bleeding out from my fingertips as I touch a body of nails

that awakens every atom and every cell and every tear and every scream.

You are the pushing you away and the pulling you inside of me

All the way inside

Until you disappear

You always disappear.

Until we meet again.

***

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Macaile Hutt

Macaile Hutt

Macaile Hutt believes the best perfume is Idaho mountain air, the deepest laugh often comes from the mouth of a child, and coffee is the answer no matter the question. She has had to learn the hard way that some words ache until they are said. Find your voice and let it be heard. Macaile would like you to join her on Facebook or her website, as you take your own heart and live this beautiful life in search of perfect moments in such a way that every moment becomes perfect.
Macaile Hutt
Macaile Hutt