Reasons a Girl Decides She Isn’t Beautiful: I Didn’t Have a Choice in Loving You.
I remember the first time I met you. I didn’t think you noticed me until you smiled and gave me a thumbs up when the song I requested came on the jukebox.
You always loved me for the choices I made;
I didn’t have a choice in loving you.
Reasons a girl decides she isn’t beautiful:
* Photoshopped magazine covers
* Cheerleaders in gym class
* Posters in lockers of girls she will never be
I used to be scared of you. Not like the movies where the girl is tripping and falling while she runs away. But the kind of scared where I kind of hoped I would trip and fall.
* Anyone named Ashley
* Not getting the memo that nobody wears that brand anymore
* The kid in advisory who asks if you gained weight
I thought maybe you were joking when you told me I looked even more beautiful after I washed off my makeup. I went to sleep wondering, but I saw how you looked at me drinking coffee in the morning.
You looked at me with eyes that weren’t joking even a little bit, and I am not usually someone who prays in someone else’s kitchen on a Sunday, but I said a prayer that those eyes might never change.
* Thighs without a gap
* Shoulder-length hair
* Being asked if you’re tired
You taught me that my body is a novel, and you chose to read me letter-by-letter instead of word-by-word. I learned more from you in an hour than any class I’ve ever taken, even though I used to say AP science changed my life.
I always wondered if Mrs. Lockwood made up the answers when students asked ridiculous questions.
I believed every single word you said.
* Overhead lighting
* Pants that don’t fit anymore
* Asymmetrical eyebrows
It wasn’t until you left me that I knew I wanted you to stay. You said it was important, I watched out the window and held my breath for what seemed like an eternity. You returned with flowers.
You always found me better than you left me.
* Forgetting to put your hand on your hip in pictures
* Eating too much salt the night before
* Bumps on the back of your arms in winter
I always lived a life thinking I was supposed to find the answers to my questions. You were an answer that led to so many more questions but for the first time in my life I believed that everything was going to be okay.
I decided I’d rather hold your hand and talk about the shapes in the clouds than worry about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I didn’t tell you this then, but they all spelled your name.
I forgot what I was listing when you walked in and shut my laptop to kiss me. You have a funny way of interrupting me right when I need you to.
Was I listing the reasons I know I’m beautiful? That’s easy.