6 Ways to Create an Unforgettable Charisma.
“Charisma is a presence that excites us. It comes from an inner quality — self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment — that most people want. This quality radiates outward, permeating the gestures of Charismatics, making them seem extraordinary and superior. They learn to heighten their charisma with a piercing gaze, fiery oratory, an air of mystery. Create the charismatic aura by radiating intensity while remaining detached.” ~ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
There is always something uniquely special about someone with charisma that is captivating, as if the privileged person had been groomed and polished with youthful abandon, grace, and a sense of freedom. Maybe our fascination with charismatic people signifies a resurgence of our own untapped potential of possibilities of what we could be. Maybe there is a bit of charisma in all of us.
Once we discover and learn how to use our own genuine charisma within, we will effortlessly communicate an energy of unspoken confidence, admiration, and a truth that resonates deep within others, a truth that is personal and omnipresent.
Quite simply, charisma is a dignified, self-fulfilled energy of being content and centered with yourself while showing vivaciousness and vulnerability at the same time. Which leads me to something I’m quite convinced about charisma: it demands we give more of ourselves, our sincerity, our warmth, and our full presence, and once we do, we will begin to inspire devotion in others.
Some sceptics may argue that having charisma is insincere and manipulative, but here is where I believe the difference is:
Having a healthy and balanced level of charisma, without compromising our integrity and values, gives us control over creating a joyful and meaningful life for ourselves and others. But if used to make only ourselves feel better, bring us validation and acceptance, or manipulate others, it will eventually limit and destroy any potential or possibility of what the relationship could have been. This is when relationships become malleable and unclear. On the other note, when charisma is used responsibility and sincerely, we will be able to interact with others from a place of completeness and be forthright.
In his book The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene discusses some of the powerful effects of charisma and how it can be used to influence others and improve the quality of relationships. So how does a person develop or rediscover their natural charisma?
Here are some perspectives taken from The Art of Seduction that you can use to develop some core elements of charisma (whether you are a charmer, coquette, star, siren, rake, natural, ideal lover… or maybe a bit of each merged into one).
“If people believe you have a plan, that you know where you are going, they will follow you instinctively.” ~ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
Have a Purpose, Regardless of Setbacks, Obstacles, and Failures
The pursuit of your purpose, dreams, and those happily ever afters involves finding it within yourself and not in a metaphorical Prince Charming. When we place unnecessary responsibility on others to make us happy and fail to take responsibility for our own aspirations and dreams, we subscribe to being someone we are not. We simply give up.
However, when you follow your purpose, despite the challenges and adversity, you will surpass your dreams in ways beyond your own expectations and others will admire you for seemingly living a fairy-tale life on your terms. And this creates charisma.
However, all fairy tales, merely serving as life metaphors, never exclude encounters of setbacks, obstacles, and failures that, in the end, will create an unimaginable level of gratitude and self-fulfillment.
Regardless of the perspective you choose to view it, there will always be cruel stepsisters, stepmothers, archetypes of evil kings and queens who want to destroy the competition along with ticking grand clocks serving as reminders for us to pursue the cherished opportunities in life while we are able to do so. And your life, fairy-tale or not, would not be complete without the valuable lessons you learned from them.
Show Warmth, Sincerity, and Truthfulness During Interactions
Our mindfulness, intentions, sincerity and warmth, or lack of it, will come across all our day-to-day communications. More importantly, others will notice if we are authentic or putting on a fake theatrical show.
While this may be overly simplified, it is often these overlooked, subtle elements in our nonverbal communications that create meaningful moments, memories, and joy because we are able to radiate authentic inner abundance and gratitude from our lives onto others.
Learning how to convey mindfulness, good intentions, sincerity, and warmth in everyday interactions will only amplify your inner beauty and potential to others.
Magnify Strengths with Magnetism
Magnetism is having an impressive self-confidence by focusing on strengths that you are proud of. Of course, all of us have insecurities, weaknesses, and flaws that we struggle with every day, but the difference rests in how we acknowledge and address it. The key is to accentuate your unique strengths and talents with others, and disguise, but not hide, your perceived weakness and flaws.
Subscribe to the School of Abundance
Many people are committed to and held captive to the social conditioning belief that everything has a limit and only a select few can achieve these limited resources. Over time, these assumed impossibilities will mire us in a scarcity mindset and prevent us from looking inward to see and appreciate the small things that create abundance.
The result of this toxic thinking is a sustained wistful sense of neediness, a need to have things or people a certain way and a need for manipulation to slow it all down for the capture before it drifts away. And nobody will be attracted to a person with a scarcity mindset, unless they also have a scarcity mindset.
Therefore, it remains important to make an everyday conscious effort to become observant of any internal self-defeating thoughts and negative dialogue and respond with positive repartee. Truth is, to feel abundant, we must learn how to first appreciate the small daily unnoticed miracles in our life. And this is done by having gratitude.
Merely having an inner perception that comes from being grateful will exude charisma and magnetically attract others to you.
“Charismatic people are mysterious and inexplicable, never obvious. They have an unusual confidence. They have a gift that makes them stand out from the crowd.” ~ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
Maintain a Sense of Mystery
Today, mystery is rare. Most people enjoy socially dishing out and sharing every intimate and personal detail of their life’s story. However, having a real sense of mystery sometimes requires you to wait patiently behind the scenes for an unforgettable moment to serendipitously revel itself. Mystery involves letting go of how you think things should be revealed.
Mystery is responding respectfully and tactfully with a dignified vague statement when we are hit with an onslaught of probing questions. Having the insight and knowledge to know what to share and how much to share takes patience and practice. When we truly value our privacy and revel just enough for social appropriateness, without being deceptive, we create a beautiful balance of mystery.
“Today, anyone who has presence, who attracts attention when he or she enters a room, is said to possess charisma.” ~ Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction
Be Present with Others
When someone is speaking to you, are you having impatient and distractive thoughts about what you are going to say next? Being fully present in conversation requires listening to others and not listening to entangled thoughts of the past, thoughts of the future, or unnecessary and unruly thoughts.
To be fully present, we must make good eye contact when others are speaking and listen to what they are sharing, word by word, while being open and relaxed to their ideas. Such an unguarded approach will make anyone feel exceptionally good and make you more inviting and attractive to others.
When Charismatics are actively engaged in dialog by being present in the moment, they are communicating non-verbally that they are exactly where they want to be. This takes much conscious effort, but choosing to be present in your everyday conversations and interactions, without sacrificing a trace of authenticity, you will unmistakably improve the social life and social world of yourself and of others.
Perhaps charisma is what we need to show up in life, to conquer the elusiveness, and to shapeshift our inner world to become more connected. Perhaps charisma is part of our mystique.
Joan Peperone is a wife, mother, and a family nurse practitioner with a writing purpose of sharing epistemic perspectives and approaches to help others find their passion in life by focusing on the importing things in the right way. You could contact her via her website, a shared collection of medical and nursing study notes.