you & me

Romance the Significant, With or Without the Other.

 

Is romance an interpersonal phenomenon?

Do we really need another person, a lover, a spouse, a significant other, to be available with us physically, mentally, and emotionally to have romantic experiences?

If such an arrangement is not available, is there no possibility of having romance in our lives?

What if the requirement of two individuals for romance is a big lie that society has created around us so that we follow its prescribed life-script?

What if the current picture of romance is actually coming from a plan to sell more chocolates, flowers, movie tickets, and other such goods?

What is romance really? Is it a box of chocolates, a hurried kiss, and a bouquet of flowers so that you can check the romance off your to-do list and get busy with the next thing? Not even close! Romance is a very different experience.

Romance is the experience of being intensely present.

Sometimes it is like a shot of intense awakening you get when you splash your face with ice-cold water. Other times, it can be a sensual experience slowly unfolding in time, like losing yourself in listening to an enchanting musical melody.

We make a big deal about sharing romantic moments with someone else, so much so that we deny ourselves romantic experiences we can have in solitude, and sometimes only in solitude.

In our search for a significant other in human form, we continuously ignore the most significant soul mate of all: the Universe!

When we say that our self, what we call I, ends where our skin ends, that makes everything outside our skin the other. Therefore, the world just outside our skin, which is this universe, is the first other we experience, and it is also our most significant other.

The Universe is your closest and eternally present significant other. It is cradling you with infinite hands, present with you in your every breath. It is creating magic in front of your eyes so that you can join the galactic romance that is continuously unfolding in front of you and for you.

We can tune into our universal significant other in a very romantic way if we keep our awareness clear of mental clutter and emotional chatter.

If we can wash off the veil of symbols from our eyes and shut off mental dialogues in our ears, then simple things that we tend to ignore are revealed as the sources of most romantic experiences.

Just looking around, you can see an array of colors, textures, and tones that are intricately merging and blending with each other.

The experience of the sun is romantic. Majestic sunrises, colorful sunsets, the warmth of the afternoon rays on your skin, are all sensual treats. If you are willing to just be with your senses and stop thinking for a while, you will see how romantic it is.

The sound of water is romantic. The trickling of rain on rooftops, the bubbling stream, crashing waves, and if you know how to really listen, even the sound of running tap water is delightful.

As we get better at tuning into our primary senses such as sight, sound, touch, and taste, simple everyday life experiences become incredibly romantic.

If you are willing to keep in touch with your universal significant other, you will find richness in unlikely places, like deeply looking at a flower, a dewdrop on a leaf, raindrops on a spiderweb, deeply inhaling aroma of coffee in a busy cafe, or the smell of earth after the first rain.

Romance is our awareness delighting in the subtleties of the senses it is observing. Through sense perceptions, the presence of the other touches our heart.

You need only yourself, but you need yourself completely, to experience this romance. The rest is generously provided by your universal significant other.

If you think the company of another person is needed to be romantic, you are narrowing your possibilities of romance significantly.

Unfortunately, at this point in time, most of us humans are totally lost in the frantic activity of mind. Most of us can’t be present with ourselves, we can hardly be present for others.

If you postpone romance until you find a suitable human partner, you may end up searching your whole life and miss out on the real thing.

Even worse, you might lose your presence all together in the search, so much so that even if the man or woman you are looking for sits in front of you, you will be lost in your cell phone and complain to him or her about your day, totally missing the delightful presence that was being offered to you.

Instead, see if you can be present with your universal significant other in your solitude. When you start romancing the Universe, sometimes the Universe suddenly looks back at you, romancing you. If you are especially lucky, it looks back at you through human eyes. Then for that moment, you can feel the romance that Rumi has captured here so beautifully.

“Your eyelashes will write on my heart the poem that could never come from the pen of a poet.” ~ Rumi

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Artist, mystic, engineer and techie, Maithilee Samant has been a rebel since birth. She embraces and integrates both her head and her heart. Always curious to observe and understand the world around her, she was drawn to many contemplative and creative adventures. Born in Mumbai, India, first she pursued her keen interest in science and technology. After graduating with a BE in Computer Science with Honors from Pune University, she moved to United States. She had a successful software career in Silicon Valley which spanned two decades. Earlier this year, Maithilee decided to take a totally different turn. She decided to flip her hobby into career and her career into hobby! The artist and mystic in her wants to be expressed fully through art and writing. She still continues to write code, but now as a hobby. Her blog and her paintings are showcased on her website.

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