archives, poetry

Doe Eyes. {spoken word poetry}

 

Caught you with doe eyes and a suggestive smile that followed you for miles.
Silly, sarcastic, with an air of mystery.
Surprised you with wit
Making up for lack of hips.
We both tripped on each other’s heart
So, why doesn’t it make sense?
Both… if you just loved me, there’d be no animosity.
I wouldn’t grit my teeth.
We wouldn’t clench our fists.
There’s be no need to hit.
Our flame was dead on arrival because you weren’t weary enough to love me like a minefield.
Make everything perfect and give me the answers right now because I love you.
And my codependency is just as innocent as those doe eyes you said were beautiful.
So why can’t this be accepted?
Because my love for you is unlike yours for me? Is dynamite wrapped in good intentions?
Oh, how I care so careless with a cruel mood!
I’m sad about your hard days taken place by sleepless nights, but just be more quiet about it.
Because your pain crumbles my world, and I’ll take the blame and be centerfold of everything wrong that I want to make right.
You’re supposed to just smile. It’s all I wanted to see so instead I can associate myself with that light.
It’s my world because eggshells aren’t too supportive to walk on.
So please don’t push your luck.
You’re at fault.
Mistaking me for passionate, not realizing I’m nothing but the romance that lies between a rock and a hard place, forming a boulder pushing through all you saw in those promising first days.
Doe eyes aren’t innocent, they’re pain and enlarged by sadness, so please stand back since you can’t hold me as tight as I’d like. So I’ll just break all your things so they can love me to pieces.
You think you can do what you want?
Of course I have to, because my id isn’t only my pilot, it’s an overbearing mother pissed to see me want more than self-destruction.
More than you picking up those pieces because they didn’t love me hard enough, so as you exhaust yourself, I’ll break them, break down, break again, and you just can’t stop cleaning.
Shhh. Go to sleep. It’s a matter of rest, you’ll be tired but okay. Nothing happened because I slept it off and purged it out my system. Don’t ever say you’re scared to me again, that’s another mine and honestly there’s no reason. I’m the same hip chick with doe eyes you brought your way.
But love makes the difference. And it’s deep, so much as to letting me break myself with everything that rubs me wrong. And yea, everything rubs me wrong. So don’t fucking rub me wrong.
Maybe just keep telling me I hate you everyday. It’s my only wish. My hate is distant, comforting, and safe.
Choose the unanimous, and walk away from the love. You can walk away but I can’t hide, and I’ll just prey on the next with doe eyes a little more wide.

DOE EYES from Ashley Fitch on Vimeo.

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 Ashley Fitch is a creative writer currently trying to break into the spoken word world. Originally from and still residing in Trenton, NJ, she stays a part of and supports the local art scene. She attended the Art Institute of New York for digital film.

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