archives, you & me

Life Is a Gift: There Is No Room for Insecurity.

Something came to mind last week that I wanted to share. I remembered that life is a gift.

Bear with me! I know this is something we all know. But it comes in and out of our awareness at different times, doesn’t it?

Usually if we lose someone close to us, or if we or somebody we love has a health scare, it becomes obvious and we see it more.

But at other times it’s really easy to forget.

We get so wrapped up in the everyday, and caught up in our personal worries. We all get caught in our thinking, and feel consumed by whatever problems or obstacles we see. We focus intently on those things and lose sight of the bigger picture, and of what’s most meaningful and important to us.

For me, for a long time, this was focusing on my insecurities.

It was not feeling good enough, comparing myself negatively to other people, and worrying about what could happen to me in relationships. It was fearing being hurt, being left, and being caught off guard.

It was having really high expectations of myself, and other people. It was not valuing myself and then hating myself for that. It was spending far more time focusing on all of this than I wanted to, when I knew there were so many things to be grateful for.

This went on for too long.

But when we’re caught in it, we’re caught in it. We become caught up for a reason and it isn’t our fault. We’re trying to protect ourselves. But when this becomes our reality, it’s really hard to see the wood for the trees.

It feels difficult to focus and pursue the things we most want to when we’re having problems seeing our own value and worthiness, and when we’re so focused on all the things that could go wrong. On all the ways we could suffer or be hurt in the future.

Thankfully though, there is another way of seeing things, and there is another way of experiencing life and relationships.

There is a way to free yourself from this kind of insecure thinking and lack of confidence, as compelling as it might seem at times.

I know the pain of low self-worth, and I know that a completely different way of seeing and being is possible. Both through my own journey, and working with hundreds of other people dealing with similar states of mind.

I’ve been on the path of a new way of seeing for some time now, but this week the reminder about life being a gift somehow reinforced everything I’ve come to know, and made it all the plainer.

Life really is too short to be consumed by problems that don’t need to be problems.

There are many things we have to deal with that we’re unable to avoid. Things happen that we would never want or expect, and we respond to them as best we can. But not feeling good enough, not believing in or valuing yourself, fearing being hurt all the time, and reacting in ways that you hate, don’t need to be part of life.

They really don’t.

There are no guarantees of tomorrow for any of us, which is a scary thought, but it’s true. And for me at least, that thought sharpens my senses. It cuts through the noise and brings me back to my heart. It reminds me of who and what are most important to me. It reminds me of how I want to live.

Life isn’t for holding back. Life isn’t for being scared. Life isn’t for being fake, and having to hide who you really are.

Life is messy, it’s complicated, and it’s amazing.

Life is here to be lived, every day we get the chance to live it. It’s here to be enjoyed. It’s here to be savored, relished and delighted in. It’s here to be appreciated. And it’s here to allow each of us to shine as brightly as we possibly can, without a lack of confidence, fear and low self-worth holding us back.



Kelly Burns is a transformative coach who works with people who want to stop feeling insecure in themselves and their relationships, or anyone wanting to be happier in their lives. She helps them find this happiness within themselves, and to live with more peace of mind. Kelly also works with people who are going through a change, and who may be feeling stuck, confused or unsure of what they want to do next. She provides one-on-one coaching internationally via Skype or phone, and offers a free e-book on her website for anyone wanting to take the first step to becoming more secure and confident. In addition, Kelly offers well-being consultancy to organizations and the media, and writes freelance articles for both print and online publications. You can also contact her via Twitter or Facebook.


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