archives, you & me

Go Beyond Conditions, and Fall into Love.

Several years ago, I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed, and so was given a general anesthetic.

After waking up, I spent an hour or so in a totally blissed-out feeling, thanks to the strong painkillers I’d been given.

I can only describe it as being in the love state. I felt pure love for everything and everyone around me. I was holding the recovery nurse’s hand telling her what a difference she made, and genuinely feeling like I loved her! Which seems funny, and makes me laugh when I look back. I also sounded like I was drunk. Drunk on love!

But whilst it might have sounded funny and other people were also finding it amusing, I felt a deep peace and awash with joy. Everything felt strikingly clear.

This experience came back to mind recently when I was at a conference in California. Dicken Bettinger, one of the psychologists, was talking about falling into love. He described how his whole experience of love changed when he came to see more and more about how the mind actually works, beyond any thinking that was happening, and when he came to know more about his true nature.

He realized that previously he’d been used to falling in love with something. With a particular person or object. The feeling he had was projected onto something out there and it seemed like the good feelings were actually in that thing.

In contrast to that, he began to see that he could simply fall into love. Into the state of love, and that this was actually the normal state for all human beings, when it isn’t covered over with lots of thought.

This reminded me of the experience I’d had after my operation, because that’s how it felt — as if I was in a state of pure love, before my conceptual mind had the chance to come back fully on board. This feeling of pure love still got projected out onto whoever and whatever was around me, or whoever I thought about, but it was most definitely coming from inside me.

It didn’t seem like the love was in other people or other things. I was full up with it. I was love.

When we fall in love with something, inevitably our feelings will change over time. They will ebb and flow, and often they come with some kind of conditions. Things lose the glow and newness we once saw in them.

When we fall in love romantically, we’re often awash with love for someone initially, because we’re seeing them without negative judgments. We literally see them through the eyes of love. Then as time goes on, this feeling can fade, as we start to make judgments and evaluations.

We can feel disappointed that this person doesn’t seem to be all we thought or wanted them to be, or they might not be meeting our expectations somehow. We fall out of love, into trying to get our needs met, and into judging other people negatively when they don’t meet those needs.

This isn’t love. This is us trying to get something.

But it doesn’t matter. Because once we see it, we can realize that our level of consciousness and our level of understanding have dropped.

When we align more with love and understanding again, and remember that this is our true nature, our perceptions shift quickly and automatically.

When we aren’t trying to get things from other people, thinking they should somehow be different, and without layering on all our judgments about them, we’re able to see them for what and who they really are. We’re able to see the essence of them, and we’re able to become aware of the essence of love within ourselves again.

When we fall back into love, into the state of love, we require nothing. We’re already whole, complete, and perfectly satisfied. We’re in a state of acceptance and clarity, and we’re grateful. We don’t need anybody to complete us, and we don’t need anyone or anything to make us feel a certain way.

This is a gift, and this is the true nature of each and every one of us. This is who we really are.

When we go beyond thought, beyond the thinking and judgments that go on in all of our brains, we open up the possibility for us to fall back into love, and we see another world.

Happily, the more we live in that other world, the more we see that we live in a world of love.

Endless, bountiful love, peace and wisdom — which wants for nothing and can be found within all of us, in each and every moment.

Can it really be that simple?

Yes. If it doesn’t feel simple, it isn’t truth.



Kelly Burns is a transformative coach who works with people who want to stop feeling insecure in themselves and their relationships, or anyone wanting to be happier in their lives. She helps them find this happiness within themselves, and to live with more peace of mind. Kelly also works with people who are going through a change, and who may be feeling stuck, confused or unsure of what they want to do next. She provides one-on-one coaching internationally via Skype or phone, and offers a free e-book on her website for anyone wanting to take the first step to becoming more secure and confident. In addition, Kelly offers well-being consultancy to organizations and the media, and writes freelance articles for both print and online publications. You can also contact her via Twitter or Facebook.


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