The Time Is Right to Sprout the Seed Inside You.
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“Once we are all ill and confined to the bed, sharing our stories of therapies and comforts, forming support groups, bearing witness to each other’s tales of trauma, prioritizing the care and love of our sick, pained, expensive, sensitive, fantastic bodies, and there is no one left to go to work, perhaps then, finally, capitalism will screech to its much-needed, long-overdue, and motherfucking glorious halt.” ~ Johanna Hedva
Johanna’s words were prophetic at the time she wrote it. That time is indeed now. It is the time between the old and the new story, the inevitable transition, the unknown territory.
Before we begin adjustment in the new paradigm, we need to navigate through the whirlpools of uncertainty, evident polarization of our world and collective trauma, wading through the world of shadow.
And while no one really knows what a new story really might look like, we may have been catching a glimpses of something we are unable to name, or even maybe clear visions of a collaborative and just world, our lives so entwined into authentic global community devoted to values of sovereignty, integrity and freedom of every living being. The world radically transformed beyond any recognition.
Some of these visions are reflections of infectious dreaming and deep longings to connect with those who share the same dream.
Yet the very opposite is taking place. No, our eyes are not failing us! The breakdown of the world as we knew it, in its embedded structures crumbling piece by piece, day by day, seems inevitable. Our outdated habitual ways and ingrained learning conditions of how we approach life are not serving us, are being repeatedly exposed to the bone. It’s weary, it’s painful, it’s thoroughly exhausting to say the least.
I am witness to this in my own local communities as well as communities worldwide, while physically distant from each other.
People are literally dying to be free, to be truly seen, to be free, dying to be themselves, dying for basic survival, exposing their vulnerability and revolutionary spirit so they may uncover what is freedom and what it means to express a true gift, and live in their authenticity, the sacred union with all of life.
We are all in the dissolving process, although we may hold diverse perspectives of what is taking place and why. We may feel the depth of this despairing isolation and at the same time, pulled in one direction, moving forward into a different version of our world.
In strange ways, we may be sharing this vision despite the tearing pain of living thousands of miles away from our friends and family and loved ones. Our hearts know holding this vision is not an easy task, yet necessary to create a momentum for a new paradigm.
And, while the old structures and systems are going through mass-crumbling, we need to let it. We need to allow that, knowing in our hearts and guts that the one thing that can’t diminish in this chaos is our authenticity and our deep core of being. It is that tender yet courageous heart, a leader of new possibility and trust, guiding the fueling and infectious vision of a new story.
Humans have a fundamental need, whether recognized or not, conscious or not, to be connected, included and held by mutually supportive and nurturing community. It is a human birthright, to be treated with love, equality and respect, and gifted with opportunity to reciprocate these core values.
We have the same longings to be held by the hands, minds and hearts of others in mutual collaboration and fairness. We yearn for the community where exchange of gifts and resources, abundance and reciprocity is normal and unquestionable. Not as mere luxury but a necessity for the cohesive humble society, sustainable living and deep connection with all living beings.
We seem to be called by mysterious voices ranging from quiet whisper to loud screams, often moving through deep feelings of loss, despair and depression. They are rising from the wisdom of our bone marrows guiding the way. They are our openings and our beginnings despite the deep uncertainty we may feel about our safety and our sovereignty.
We know that time is now and yet we really don’t know where exactly on our path we really are.
We need guiding hands of inspiration, to show us how to blow into life the mists of Aquarian times, how to uncover the treasures we had been sitting on, personally and collectively.
Long-term physical disability and persistent illness, as well as systemic tightening of the basic financial resources, challenging personal circumstances and additional societal restrictions I continue to face, had been ravaging my life for more than a decade. I am far from thriving.
Yet somewhere within me I keep reaching for that invisible mysterious thread I can hold on to. The riding journey has been rough, arduous and never-ending, still it feels I had been invited to be here for a reason. Perhaps to be inspired to tell a narrative I came from and the narrative of the world more beautiful that I am awaiting! I simply don’t know!
Perhaps the world that presents itself to me as it is right now is the whole of its potential despite the avalanche of obstacles. This holding is not an easy task. I feel I had been called to incarnate in this time and to discover inside me the burning fires for a reason.
Frida Kahlo’s wisdom resonates strongly with me: “I have to fight with all my strength to contribute the few positive things my health allows me to the revolution. The only true reason to live for.”
Fighting is a daring gesture, and each of us does this in our own way. For some it means actually slowing down from decades of chasing the unachievable, for others it is marching on the streets to assert their basic human rights. But whatever it is, it is supported by a deeper insight that systemic falling is a must, a catalyst, to birth in the middle of the mess, to transform what appears impossible into a new possible.
I am awoken by my own stark realization how a force of destruction has initiated me to burn not once but endlessly. As women we know what that means because we burned multitude of times and in various ways and still keep rising up. And men do, but in different ways.
Likewise, all our inner tools of self-awareness and self-knowledge need continuous sharpening. They are quiet practices of revolution representing the growth of our inner hands and feet from riotous seedlings, literally and symbolically branching out into our larger communal groves and letting the roots grow in all directions of our lives. We are innately a wise and riotous forest.
It seems our journeys become more complicated as we give permission to outer forces to take control, be it by sabotaging our inner resources, taking positions of indifference or compliance. Playing blind slavery and victimhood is a tame game because it makes us give into being anesthetized.
It shows up in hiding and avoiding our real pain, our own brokenness, despair and disillusionment, our disabling fear about our mortality.
It may also show itself in denial of what is, mirroring the fears and insecurities of the dark and the unconscious actions of external institutions, all kind of experts, governmental bodies, and ordinary mortal beings. Falling into a trap of overriding our intuition, good inner sense, and sadly, our own intelligence and wisdom.
Consequently, such disabling fear can freeze the body and can become a dark destructive aspect of ourselves. I had experienced it myself in countless extreme stress-related events of my own life.
Committing to living in our authenticity means being vigilant to those forces of false power. It means recognizing that all our intense emotions of fear, anger, despair, grief, overwhelm, confusion need our Yes for something else to flow into, to heal.
That something else is the sphere of new possibilities. Through vehicles of trust and faith, we can see with more clarity and compassion how our addictive and habitual behaviors keeps us slave to the world we don’t actually want to support any longer.
The rules of the game are not of our setting, if we stay conscious how our own direct contribution of falling asleep feeds an old collective hungry machine ready to swallow us in.
We are being given opportunities to keep awakening to the truth that power resides inside us, in our own inner being, within every single cell pulsing with potential, right here, right now, while being fully aware of our human mortality.
The reality is we all face this trickster daily, moment to moment actually. I had been taught to face my own tricksters by realizing that removing cobwebs from my own eyes is my work to do.
It is futile to wait upon other to take action towards any change.
Staying the course is a commitment by not losing our energies doing someone else’s inner work. To me that is not the same as stepping on other’ people’s toes, which can be almost exhilarating knowing we are initiating new message to other by simply being ourselves.
When each of us walk our own road, yet together with others, we gather enormous strength and resilience to dismantle our own heavy luggage of the past and the ways of status quo. This heavy luggage is indeed a powerful catalyst in self-healing and our key to being part of global solutions.
The heavy carrying is our human wounding story. It requires clearing the overgrowth ahead on our path. It is how we become at ease with our intentions and how we remain in alignment, and act from clarity and finally integrity. It is also how we get challenged too. Bravely committed to healing our own bloody wounds with personal responsibility, courageous invincibility to act when needed.
That seed has the potential to emerge some day into its wildest blossoming under the right conditions.
“Find the seed inside you, swollen with its own longing, that insists, with all the force of life, that it will sprout when the time is right. Simple, naked, clean, fiercely alive,” says Maeanna Welti from Mother Tongue Ink.
It could be possibly the most glorious, most abundant scenery of our life. We are those seeds, so let them grow big!
Where we stand right now is a sheer nothingness, the darkest void and yet the most fertile, the most glorious scenery we could have ever witnessed in our time, in introspection. To enter the sphere of miraculous unfolding means traversing inside dark womb space, and it calls for magical potions of pure passion and resilience, and human kindness.
After all, withdrawing suddenly from the rat race and clock of time the way we are being forced globally right now has not happened since long time. To me, that is the offering of golden opportunity we did not anticipate, and could hardly comprehend at this very moment. Perhaps it is a critical mass that will tip things over, perhaps it is the beginning of something alchemical.
It certainly carries the momentum for many social movements. People all over the world are rallying for freedom every week and there is a huge upheaval in coming together to stand for social and environmental justice, freedom from tyranny and silencing, and resurrection of our lives all over the planet.
I had been absorbed in the work of Charles Eisenstein, who is one of the passionate visionaries behind a “story of interbeing” and a “gift economy”. His insight has been a torchlight for me, a vital provider of some missing pieces of the puzzle. It brings together the principles by which I had vowed to live by, while also recognizing the clear reasons why I haven’t been able to.
While unconsciousness breeds sense of separation, which is an illusion that can only lead us into more sickness and disconnection from others, living in trusted connection with people and the Universe will deliver exactly the opposite outcome, and will uncover the gifts we already have.
If the Universe works by principle of interconnection between macrocosm and microcosm, and it’s innately intelligent and infinitely abundant space and energy, then each of us must posses the same abilities. Equally, every encounter, every experience, becomes a mirror of the Universe. This is how we give personal permission to divine mystery to orchestrate openings and halt creations.
It is how perfect timing operates, synchronicities and almost always so-called accidents or disasters.
I had been initiated into this insight some 20 years ago when I first learned about principles of universal healing energies being involved in Reiki and Energy Healing. This made sense. Soon after, I was to discover my ambitious thinking that held me in illusion I had suddenly cleared my own issues by applying this principle.
I had been discovering ever since that quick solutions and fixes simply do not exist. Equally, they do not bring lasting results if one is on the path of authentic healing. A healing warrior must dive into real personal and psychological dismantling and traverse harsh, uncharted territory one may be unprepared for, often for indefinite periods.
I recognize now that it is this humbleness of not knowing that guides us well when we encounter life’s detours, blocks and high walls.
Our faith is another alchemical ingredient that knows the Universe is a benevolent entity that has our interest at heart, unquestionably, but how often am I lost in my own persistent amnesia? How often has that been your experience, my reader?
This narrative inevitably has an impact on all our relations and the way we conduct our lives. It doesn’t seem like a new realization at all, yet one that makes all the difference between separation and unity.
Our allies are calling for us to become conscious and contagious agents of change. Our Mother Earth is holding us in that faith and also hoping we do. Our oceans are moved every time we remember this truth and act on it.
I wonder what might unfold if we dare to listen attentively when our minds and hearts make agreements on how we choose to exchange our energy sources. One daily energy exchange happens in our world in the money transactions. I am wondering how our lives may be transformed by simply replacing existing money values with gifting.
The basic version of exchange may be in gestures of gifts to flow into the places and people who really need it. The cycle of abundance rather than scarcity may follow.
Being part of gift economy may give us not only more sense of belonging, but additionally, gift us with a chance of becoming the most potent agents of positive change and propagators of wealth, rather than agents of perpetuating scarcity and human inequality.
What is at the root of human unbalance, and sickness we face now, might be healed with this simple conscious relationship based on abundance, available to everyone who chooses so.
With all species that we had tried to overpower and cause unnecessary death to, with our greed and ignorance, we had actually disempowered ourselves.
We had truly reached the dead end, the end of the old narrative for a reason, reaching the glorious inevitable halt that Johanna so eloquently presented at the beginning of this article.
It may be the case, rightly or not, that only through the mass destruction caused by that speeding train of lunacy that our eyes may finally open. Perhaps now is that time to see every moment holds the opportunity to awaken to what we had endeavored to destroy in ourselves and our planet, that provides all that we ever needed and need. What we had abandoned that we need to reunite with.
And also what we need to remind ourselves, that the oldest tribal people did not forget: people, we cannot eat money!
What our world may grow into, if we chose consciousness over acting in automatic pilot ways…
… if we dare to dream of life that truly belongs to us.
… if we vow to see gateways where there were none before,
… if we hold everyone in the “story of interbeing”, including political leaders, law and policy-makers, police force, those we find not trustworthy.
But how do we do this, we ask?
I feel we do this every time we dare to open our mouth and let truth flow.
Every time we endeavor to hold a vision of higher authority within ourselves which vows to change the rules of the game we no longer want to be part of. We do this by not consenting or complying because of our fear.
In my view, that is the sign of ripening times and standing up for what makes us really alive.
Ready to take new brave steps with trust in our wings and faith.
The winds are blowing in our favor, and we need to let ourselves go with that wind. The fires are burning with deep passions for action.
If political, economic and financial systems and their offsprings of capitalism, patriarchy and consumerism had been so powerful and intrinsic in helping us destroy life, how can new collaborations be utilized to creating means of protecting and nurturing our Gaia, our only home?
Can we inspire systems to learn directly about natural laws of life so they could act in its service rather than collude against them? Can we teach them spiritual principles of life and how energy operates in the universe? Understanding the sacredness of our planet and its cyclical nature of transition, death, regeneration can initiate global healing.
How do we inspire all children to become the leaders of their lives, both visionary and ready to lead our world of change with integrity, passion and tending to continuous accountability?
Holding individuals responsible for their actions is how we had operated up until now. But each of us is a unique microsystem, so let’s be agents of change, accountable for our own daily, moment-to-moment choices. Equally we must work towards creating universal agreements where everyone benefits.
Let’s commit to be the answers we are waiting for. And even better, let’s keep imagining it has already happened.
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Being housebound and mostly confined to bed for a decade with a mysterious chronic condition has been deeply transforming for Durdica Maderic. Yet in this sinister and dark space she keeps birthing her authentic feminine voice and her power. She is learning to express the gifts of her inner world through words, color and image, and finds her inspirations and deep healing amongst women’s circles and nature’s bounty. She is a contributor to Women’s Spiritual Poetry anthology book and their online sharing portal. She dreams of a simple, just and loving world where nurture, kindness, respect, and equality are sacred vessels of the new paradigm and all of life is thriving.
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