Know that she’s looking at times for a soft space to land; to let go without judgment, without being told she needs to be fixed. Without being asked what’s wrong. Without being condemned or looked down upon. Without being made to feel like she’s failed simply for showing another side of herself.
Were you caged as I was? Comfortable in the way you were living, and not really hungering for anything new? Were you pulled out of it against your will? Did you rebel? Are you eternally grateful to who- or what- ever showed you a different way of being?
I think that to take that final step -- to surf the currents with confidence -- I need a true keeper of my heart. Someone who will hold it with an equal combination of gentleness and strength while I drift, float, and wander. I think that is what is missing.
I can be grateful and still not be content. I can be content and still be restless. I can have enough and still want more. I can be at peace and still have desires. I can love and still feel anger. I can feel deep sadness and still feel indescribable joy.
Instead of waging war against those voices of doubt and despair, could you maybe thank them? They are working so very hard to try to keep you safe from hurt in the only way they can. How do they know that really you are stepping toward wholeness? It’s outside the world they know, and you always ...
In love, it is better if we don’t wait for signs and perfect moments. The person you are so desperately waiting for dwells within you. As we know by now, we always attract our mirror, the one who reflects back to us how far we have come on the road to happily ever after with ourselves.