Green Porno: Chase Me! Mate With Me! Seduce Me!
Photo: Tumblr.com.
Rated R: Sex in the Natural World.
It is a common myth that animals don’t do it for pleasure, or alternatively that humans, pigs and perhaps dolphins are the only life forms that do. The truth is, this field of research is growing and right now science cannot conclusively say what animals do or do not find reproductively pleasurable as most animals put themselves at great risk for doing the deed whether it is for delight, the timing is just right (or fertile), or a dire instinctual need.
Within the animal kingdom’s sexual repertoire, research has found little skeletons such as: observed monogamy, promiscuity, sex between species, ritualistic prepping, sexual arousal from objects or places, sex apparently via coercion, copulation with dead animals, homosexual sexual behaviour, golden showers, orgies, Cleveland steamers, heterosexual, bisexual sexual behaviour, situational sexual behaviour, and a range of other practices.
Sound weirdly human? Reincarnation — anyone?
Another well-documented observation… often animal sexual behaviour involves some kind of battle between randy males. And, more often than not, female animals will choose males only if they are strong and are able to chase or scare other males far off into the sunset.
Are humans too f*cked up for Darwinism? Settle — anyone?
It’s a Wild Romance.
Isabella Rossellini (born Isabella Fiorella Elettra Giovanna Rossellini, daughter to Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini, currently age 61) presents an award-winning series of very short films about the reproductive habits of animals called Green Porno. They are scientifically accurate and yet, shall we say, extremely entertaining.
So, the next time your preparing some Barry White, red wine or some star-gazing swooning, try not to think of how an octopus penis breaks off after sex — don’t worry, it grows back the following season!
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#1 The Bee, put a cork in your vagina
The mile-high club.
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#2 The Sadomasochistic Snail
My vagina and my penis — I have both.
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#3 The Spider — I have no penis
Wham, bam, thank you ma’am!
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#4 The Mantis, the Cannibalistic Mate
I will mount her, penetrate her, then she’ll snatch my head off — but I won’t stop!
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#5 The Penis-Knifed Bed Bug
I don’t need a vagina at all! Ejaculate in my wound!
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#6 The Disadvantaged 6-Foot Whale Penis
Wait until she goes up for air!
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#7 Those Horny Dolphins
Anything goes?
Hey, let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
P.S. Isabella, I love you.
*****
The Third Gender: Are you sure you’re a (fe)male? {Adult}
*****
{Blowhole Sex.}
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