6 Truths to Help you Make it through the Storm.
{Sadness by Colombina via deviantart.com}
Sometimes, if we let ourselves be still and brave, we can actually feel little truths slipping into our bones, yelling incessant secrets down our throats.
We feel them, and we like the way they taste. But sometimes, little truths get lost along the way.
We forget to remind ourselves about the simplest of things.
I personally spend so much time folding into myself that my truths are often lost. I lose whole pieces of myself to the intricate fits of helplessness and hopelessness that seem to latch onto me.
You know the feeling? That breath before the storm, the build up, the “oh my gosh, am I ever actually going to feel better” moment?
I know that moment. And I know, that there are certain kinds of sadness. The kind that live in the photos that line your drawers, that you only pull out on blurry little Tuesdays when the wind in the air has a particular kind of frost. So you dig up these photos and you inhale the sticky, stale scent of dusty memories.
You sit, crosslegged in the middle of your room. And you ache. Yes, you ache with a listless longing for the feelings in the photo. But I need you to stop your longing. Stop your wanting and your whining. Stop wishing for that home that held you so long ago, in that photo on that day.
You will get to the other side of your pain. And it’ll be great. And it’ll be worth it.
How?
I have a couple ways to cope with the nagging, “oh my gosh, am I ever actually going to feel better?” question that seems to plague us so often.
1. Know that you are your own home.
You shift the weight from left foot to right and then you realize that’s all you’ve got. There is nothing that comes after you. There is no escape from yourself. You’ve already got the perfect pauses that cradle you back and forth.
Look inside yourself and greet your organs. Don’t find someone else’s. They smell funky and I promise yours are golden.
Give yourself a metaphorical hug. It’s silly the way we seek others for comfort, when our arms extend even farther when we wrap them around ourselves. I know how sweet other people feel. Your flesh melting into their flesh, with ease. I know how it feels to be nothing more than beat red limbs trying to catch each other.
But sometimes we have to catch ourselves; we have to raise ourselves up up up above the highest notch we can climb. We have to get ourselves there, alone.
2. Know that things will shift.
In and out of your favor. Let the feelings come up and keep breathing through them. Steady inhalations are so overrated. If you have to heave, if you have to bellow, then do so. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself through it.
This may or may not include pressing your face into a pillow and yelling. Let it ALL happen to you. You don’t have to like it and you don’t have to be comfortable with it, but you do have to feel it. Feel the way it stabs you, sweetly. It inserts itself like a fine dagger between your belly and your bones. You feel it dipping into your tissues, deepening, into the outer layer of your organs where you let it stay.
3. Know that anxiety (yells at you) and turns everything into fear.
Don’t let it. Exciting things make us anxious. And anxiety makes us scared. It terrifies even our most poignant parts — it makes us cowardly and coy. Eventually, when we’re so far deep into our own psyches, we don’t even register the excitement anymore and feel nothing but gut wrenching fear.
4. Know how to distinguish your feelings.
Know how to dissect the fear and remove it. Not all of it, some of it is good for you. But take a much needed step (or jump) back and put it all into perspective.
5. Know that you aren’t ready. You will never be ready. But you also don’t ever need to be.
6. Know that you need to be here, now.
Somehow, we’ve all gotten weirdly addicted to the sweet swelling pang of yesterday or tomorrow or some other far away time that isn’t now. But all this does is make today’s reality blunted and gray.
You need to be divinely present, innately aware. If you keep your eyes averted from your day’s work, you’re bound to miss its glory. Be here, and be here now.
If you’re anything like me, you lose yourself constantly.
Sit tight, and sit with yourself.
*****
{Here & Now & You}
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