Something Is Missing, Someone Is Found.
When something seems to be missing, unleash your natural essence from the chains of status.
All this time, looking for things. Quick highs of sex, the longer belonging of a relationship. Getting myself the latest gadget, car, fashion, the latest lingo. Achieving more, gathering more, creating more things. All just temporary highs, searching for the next hit, chasing the next goal.
Because I need to keep my fire going, or I shall have to face the cold, empty darkness. Not a choice. So I find me some more things to burn. Some go whoosh. Some burn slow and long.
Things bring me well-being and joy, but only for a while, until the urge for something else takes over.
So I carry on collecting things. Feeding the underlying sense that something is missing. Perhaps there is a right combination of things, when the time is right. But the time is never right, and whatever combination of relationship, career, and worldly possessions I create, the contentment does not last… the fire dwindles… again.
This has been the story of my life. Relentlessly I pursued more, and with each year passing I became more lost. Feeding the burning desire for contentment I, too late, realized that the things dearest to me had caught fire too. Immediately awakened, released from my maze, I found what really mattered.
Knowing what was at stake, seeing no alternative, I jumped in, desperately trying to tame the flames. But it was no use, the things that would have brought me lasting happiness and joy were fiercely burning, until there was nothing, No Thing, left but the natural truest me.
And now I realize the missing piece of my puzzle wasn’t a thing.
Somewhere on the path of life I had lost track of my natural truest me. Too many compromises to please others, or perhaps just an addiction to the temporary whoosh of things. Maybe I had never really known my natural essence.
Somehow though, I always had that feeling that something was missing. Something that would complete things so I would be joyously engrossed in the moment, as opposed to doing things with an underlying sense of uncomfortable self-awareness.
I wish for others not to get as lost and stuck in the maze of the missing something as I was. By looking for things, I ended up burning everything down to the ground, razed every structure of my social and cultural belonging.
Only when there was nothing left to find on the outside did I sink into the darkness of my unknown inner worlds. Somewhere in the vastness of despair a little light was blinking, the long lost eternal flame of the natural me.
Fire is the ultimate cleanser, only from the ashes the Phoenix shall rise. I so rose. Alone, no worldly possessions, every ounce of status ripped from my existence. Nothing, no thing to my name but the joy of just being me in my heart.
The eternal flame of the natural essence, the real me, is what keeps the fire burning. Fearlessly and fiercely being me. Lightening up, warming up, every thing from the inside out. As it turned out I had been looking for the missing something, what I found was the missing someone.
Me.
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Bartholomeus Nicolaas Engelbertus is a change-ninja and anti-fragilist who developed The Natural Self System when he discovered that attachments to life roles limits change-readiness and anti-fragile thinking, thanks to surviving a near-death experience and a socioeconomic collapse, both of which provided the epiphany and insights on which these anthropological models of human development are based. He is a master NLP practitioner with over 10 years of coaching and training experience. He has organized talks, workshops and retreats, presenting his coaching and training to clients in the UK, Holland, Spain, USA, Canada, Mexico, and Australia. His work has been featured in The Saturday Times and MSN Extras, Rebelle Society, and The Inertia. He is passionate about healthy living, surfing, and a happy sustainable future for the world’s children. You can connect with Bartholomeus via his website or Facebook.
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