The Biggest Mistake You Don’t Know You’re Making in Yoga.
{Photo: ihave3kids/Flickr Creative Commons}
And by “Yoga,” I mean life.
There is a wrong way to practice yoga, and I don’t just mean the physical alignment of the poses.
I know, because I did it for years in my own practice — in my own day-to-day life — without even realizing I was doing it.
I still make this mistake, sometimes.
That is, beating myself up inside.
It can happen in any moment, anywhere, no matter what situation or what stage of life. As well, it can happen on the Yoga mat, and often does.
This internal assault can happen in a variety of ways. Maybe it’s through fed thoughts (those are the thoughts we dwell on and obsess about and overanalyze, as opposed to the natural thought flow that is always passing through our consciousness).
Maybe it’s through negative self-talk or destructive behaviors or addictions.
Beating ourselves up inside can be about anything — our thoughts about our bodies, our feelings, our nagging worries, our inadequacy — basically anything that we see as wrong with us.
About 10 years ago, I was at the peak of my physical prowess. 24 years old, a bendy, budding Buddhist and full-time yogini, living the dream in California, eating a raw vegan diet, and really falling in love for the first time.
A few years later, after having gained about 20 pounds, especially around my midsection, I could no longer bend as deeply into forward bends or certain twists. Not cool.
As I deepened my meditation practice and became more aware of my running inner dialogue, I realized I was often beating myself up during my Yoga practice. Sometimes the voice was loud and shrill, other times nothing more than a subtle but condemning whisper, but it was almost always there.
I hated my stomach. I hated my body. I hated my lack of discipline which led to my gaining the weight. I hated my flabbiness. I resented it.
Gradually, though, that hatred and resentment has softened.
Thanks to studying and applying Buddhist mindfulness techniques, I’ve learned to watch the thoughts and self-talk about my body, my fatness, my weaknesses. I learned to notice them without getting all wrapped up and perpetuating thinking about them more.
To accept one’s body sounds like common sense, but for many of us (Americans, women, people, almost everyone?), negative self-image is so pervasive in our psyches that we are unaware of it.
I recently read Cyndi Lee’s memoir, May I Be Happy. Cyndi Lee is a well-known yoga teacher whose NYC studio/brand/style is called OM Yoga. She’s also a Buddhist. I’ve been to her studio but have never taken her class.
I took a workshop from her husband, Buddhist/musician David Nichtern, in 2004 in SF. He taught us the metta meditation technique, which I immediately adored and often practice and teach even to this day. Its basic mantras are:
May all beings be safe.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings free from suffering.
It took me a long time to get through the first half of Ms. Lee’s book, which was all about body image (namely Cyndi’s extremely negative self-image of her own fit, healthy body). Fortunately, the latter half made up for the whiny and self-absorbed tone in the first part. Transformation happens.
The most important takeaway from the book — and this article — is this:
There is nothing wrong with you.
Now there’s a mantra for everyone, every day. “There is nothing wrong with me.”
One of my favorite Dharma teachings is that of basic goodness. All beings have basic goodness (aka Buddha nature). This is within us and inseparable from us. Spiritual practice is a way of peeling away all that is obscuring that basic goodness.
You’re perfectly imperfect in this moment. Take that, go forth, and practice Yoga and live life.
*****
{Perfectly Imperfect}
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