Time is A-Marchin’… Across My Face.
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By Julie Konrad
“Oh shit, I look old!”
I can’t help but feel a little failure when the Universe steps in to remind me I have work to do on my yogic path — as if I’m getting a little cocky and need to be reprimanded. This happened to me recently when I stepped in front of my bathroom mirror and said out loud, “Oh shit, I look old,” and panicked.
Panicking is not one of the limbs on the eight-fold path. I’ve been working for years studying and putting the principals of Yoga to good use, so my reaction pissed me off. I have changed my life in so many wonderful ways, but I am stuck, yet again, on Aparigraha, the practice of non-attachment.
Standing naked in front of the mirror, I discovered I am pretty attached to my physical body as it is… or was. The grey hair I’ve been coloring, the circles under my eyes and the spots I’ve been concealing, are actually the new me. I’ve been hiding from myself for some time.
But it’s official, time is marching right across my face and there is no stopping it. Almost overnight it seemed like my physical body turned the corner from young to old. Is it all downhill from here? I was seriously distraught over this reaction. I was determined I would grow old gracefully.
Why was I panicking?
I’m not here to lament about how aging sucks and all the superficial things we get hung up on — that subject is well-covered.
I’m here to be honest about a very private moment we, as women, encounter as we grow older — the moment we look at our ourselves in the mirror and see, for the first time, that the reflection staring back at us has changed.
At what age or stage of life this happens is different for everyone, but the realization will be undeniable… the face in the mirror will be the older you, and you’re going to have to regroup and figure out your relationship with this new body.
I began to sit with these feelings of fear and change until this floated up: it’s natural to feel sad or even mourn the passing of youth, but it is a privilege to live the full evolution of a physical life.
So, the next time you find yourself saying, “Oh shit, grey hair, wrinkles, age spots, menopause, or whatever else freaks you out about growing older,” remember, there is an evolutionary process happening and You, Rebelle Warrior, are lucky enough to live it and experience the process.
I’m just beginning to learn how to greet myself with love each time a new physical change presents itself. But I am choosing to look at these imperfections and physical softenings as symbols. They are symbols of the release of rigid perfectionism, obsessive thoughts and nervous energy.
They are symbols of a body that has created life three times, it’s a symbol of of living and blossoming just as nature intended.
You are blooming to perfection. Namaste!
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