Fired for Teaching Certain Yoga Poses to Men in Prison.
Yoga in an African Prison – Robert Sturman
… and I am not sour grapes. I needed to be pushed out of the nest.
Every Tuesday for over a year, I taught two meditation classes at a nearby medium security facility. I had grown really comfortable teaching in prison, as the inmates were always open, appreciative, honest and occasionally raw.
This combination made for a sacred circle that allowed for their most authentic selves to unveil.
My badge at the facility has been pulled for practicing certain Yoga poses. After all, there is a very real resistance in the world that operates in opposition to light. Its energy is much stronger in the prison environment.
The week before, I had made a bold proclamation and shared about it on my blog:
“I arrive at my home away from home every Tuesday at 1 p.m. It is a federal prison where I teach mindfulness meditation.”
I always say a prayer as I enter. It’s not always the same, but often includes: “Bless us that we might do your will” or “Thank you for using me to be your presence here today”.
Today I felt strongly that I should boldly proclaim how grateful I am for having the greatest job in the world. I do not say this lightly. These 18 men gather to sit in stillness with intention, week after week.
On a few other occasions, I have proclaimed that God loves them, forgives them, and wants to draw their hearts closer. I express my confidence that mindful meditation creates a safe space for feelings to arise in order to heal past hurts done by and to them.
I call this practice my time with the Divine Therapist.
Today, I looked these men in the eyes, one by one, and from my sincerest space within, I said:
“My job is to have you see yourself as God sees you when you look at me. It’s reciprocal too. I see myself as God sees me when I look at you.”
It’s a beautiful thing.
I was choosing to spend more and more time behind these walls. Why, you ask?
I am coming to realize that I am my most authentic self here.
I pray to be of service and so I can act with clarity of intention.
I have no one else to impress.
There are no ulterior motives.
I am not hiding behind a persona.
I have no history with these people.
I may never see them again after this class is completed and therefore there are no expectations of a future relationship.
I am driving over the Ben Franklin bridge the day I learn that I’ve been fired, and the metaphor is not lost as I hear in my heart:
“You have given us everything you had to give. We are ready. Go out into the world and shine your Light. You will be awesome!”
The men seemed to be speaking somehow through my intuition that the next step in my journey would be powerful and again life-altering.
Clarity around what the future holds feels exciting because I had made some declarations at a Jen Pastiloff manifestation retreat with 40 women in the Catskills two weeks earlier.
I had been serving without hopes of anything in return. And yet, I received everything.
It was in a chapel behind barbed wire that I experienced an incomparable beauty in a place deemed by much of the world as ugly and forgotten.
It was there I realized I am hiding from the world.
I am hiding my talents and gifts behind those walls, in a cozy nest of my own creation. I now know that home is where the heart is, and it is not just a quaint saying.
It is profound truth that fills me to overflowing.
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Anita Brown is a content mother of two teenagers and wife of 20 years, both of which she is grateful for everyday. She began writing poetry in the fall of 2012 after a mini-breakdown cracked open her heart and allowed this newly found gift to shine through. Many months later, she is realizing the truth in the saying that “breakdown equals spiritual awakening” as she is pleasantly shocked at how much more peace she has in her spirit and how that is reflected in her life. Anita loves Yoga, dancing, traveling, cooking, walking her golden Sierra, and quiet evenings at home. She especially enjoys teaching meditation to under-served communities and listening to others as they express the same joy at the transformation occurring from such simple but regular practice.
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