What’s Time Got To Do With it? Why Love Never Fades.
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Someone recently told me that I was not allowed to advise a girl I knew, even if my intentions were good, because I was no longer her friend, or because it had been too long since we were friends.
This person told me that my opinion was unwanted because of the time that we’ve spent apart. This stayed with me that day, and the day after, and the day after that, until I sat down and started writing.
What does time have to do with it?
I often feel misunderstood. I don’t see how time can suddenly turn someone into insignificant. I don’t believe that absence creates carelessness. I still feel love for my childhood best friend, and I haven’t seen or talked to her in years. I know she’s changed, and so have I. We are different people in a different setting in a different place.
But I loved her once, so she could never become insignificant again.
I think the world is made up of moments. Each moment passing us by like a whistling train taking off from the station, but always on the same track. We are always on the same track, the track we were on when we were babies putting thumbs in our mouths and adolescents stealing kisses.
We are the same people who went to school every day, had first and second crushes, first and second kisses. We are the same ones who got our hearts broken once, or lost a friend, or even our minds.
We have to understand the incomparable miracle that we humans share with one another. Each and every simple interaction between us is a blessing: We feel love. We feel hate. We feel sadness. The point is, We Feel.
I know I can’t be the only one whose heart almost stopped the first time a friend brought me a homemade birthday gift. The day a lover first kissed me. The day that some other soul swimming around in their own world showed any sort of interest in getting to know me.
We cannot live so divided. We are not strangers from our past. We don’t change, we grow. And each moment, each tiny minuscule impression, is like a stitch in a patchwork full of patterns that is our life. Just be happy to be here, in this moment, sharing it with this person. And that person will forever be the only one whom you shared this second with.
Throughout your whole life, that fact will never change. These moments are so immeasurably beautiful. Appreciate them. Love them. Love every second of it. Because it will never happen again.
I will never be held by my mother for the first time again. I will never hold my first 4-day-old baby niece in my arms again. I will never see Italy for the first time again. I will never meet my best friend at work again, and laugh out loud every second of our work-shift together again.
I will never fall in love with the feeling of a first Downward Dog again. I will never again hug my high school friend when she finds out she’s going to be a mother again. I will never again make a best friend while studying overseas. I will never share the most ridiculous inside jokes with the wildest trio again.
I will never have my first heartbreak again. I will never fall in love for the first time again.
These moments are so precious. These people don’t just fade away. They are with you on that train, on the next car behind you. Your heart does not have a reserved amount of love to give, so why hold on so tightly? You can love your friends now, and love these people too. Love them for who they were in your life, one day, one time.
You do not need to pretend like time resets your relationships to a default setting, where you are just polite and cold.
You are not a stranger from your past. You did not change, you grew. If one day, you see the ghost of a distant memory, say Hello. And if that ghost comes at you with arms flailing, open your arms and listen. You may just end up seeing that ghost for the person that you once shared a special moment with.
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Vanessa Salcedo is an aspiring yogini and a graduate architecture student in search of meaning and truth. Her love for Yoga is shared with her passion to improve the world with urban design that will produce a positive impact in communities. After a semester abroad in Italy, her faith in the timeless quality of love was affirmed. Her goal is to help better the consciousness and instill happiness in individuals, be it with architectural design that focuses on community revitalization or a 45-minute Yoga session in the park. You can follow her on Facebook.
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