Honoring My Womanhood And The Goddess Within By Loving My Period.
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I used to hate my period, mainly because for many years I suffered from endometriosis which jam-packed that time of the month with pain and agony.
My high school years were filled with embarrassment when I had to stay home because I was in so much pain I couldn’t even walk. Every 28 days, I would sit on a heating pad and pop ibuprofen every few hours for a couple of days, making excuses to my male friends why I missed school.
I envied those girls who got their period and continued on their merry way, showing zero signs of distress.
Then there were all the ads and commercials of feminine products that were supposed to help you keep living your life when Aunt Flow showed up. Not to mention the various medications out there, including birth control, to minimize the effects of the natural womanly cycle.
Every time one of these commercials came on, I wanted to punch the TV.
At first I bought right into these campaigns. I tried different types of oral birth control, but with little relief. My bathroom cupboard was filled with various brands of tampons and pads for the different flows during my cycle, and my medicine cabinet with dozens of pain relief meds.
Eventually I ended up getting the Depo-Provera shots which stopped my periods altogether. I wasn’t sad to see them gone.
For three years I continued to get the shots and enjoyed living a somewhat normal life. The pain went away, but so did my sex drive. Now I was married to a wonderful man who I loved and wanted to make love to, yet I felt that my inner fire had been turned off by this medicine.
I decided to stop the shots and use good old condoms for birth control instead.
My period didn’t return for another year. But when it did arrive, the pain wasn’t as bad as before. Honestly, I almost sort of missed my period, which is strange to say after the agony I experienced. When the cycle returned, they were regular, and I started to feel like a woman again.
My sex drive returned too, much to my husband’s delight. Yet with all the pleasure I enjoyed again, I still didn’t like my period. Who does anyway?
About three years ago, I read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant and my perspective began to change. In the ancient times the moon cycle was considered a sacred period, a rite of passage. Women rested, enjoyed girl time, honored each other, and supported the rites of womanhood.
Basically when the monthly flows arrived, the woman got a week off. What a stark contrast to our current culture.
I still didn’t love my period until about several months ago, when I sat in my pajamas curled up in a comfy recliner, watching children’s shows on Netflix with my then 20-month-old daughter.
There were dishes to be done, dinner to be cooked, laundry to be washed, a manuscript to be edited, a floor to be swept, blog posts to be written, yet for the first time in my life I didn’t feel guilty for just relaxing and being lazy.
In my hands, I cradled a hot cup of tea which rested on my pelvis to relieve the cramping. I silently thanked my uterus for doing what it needed to stay healthy and for the beautiful child she had grown for me.
As the flow of blood left my body, I also released all the hatred I had once, the guilt for not wanting to do anything but rest, and the feeling of inadequacy.
“I honor you,” I whispered, “and I love you.”
This simple moment in my living room felt like one of the most magical slices in time. I felt like a goddess, a mother queen, on her royal throne. Since then, with each period, I create a simple ritual.
Whether it’s lighting a candle, burning some sage, or taking time to check in with my body, this time of the month is now sacred. I discovered that when I’m on my period, I don’t like to exercise and I’m okay with it. This is the time to take a break and let the body just be.
This is the time to release any emotions that need releasing, and if I feel up to it, I do a little de-cluttering. Some of the most powerful releasing I’ve ever experienced has been during these last few months when I’ve taken the time to honor my body and rest.
Women aren’t meant to keep going as if nothing is happening to their bodies. No wonder there is so much PMS in our world.
All those emotions come from unresolved issues that keep getting ignored month after month, because we are too busy running from one thing to the next and keeping up with the conundrum of modern life.
After I had my daughter, my health provider asked what birth control I planned to use. I decided to stick to condoms for the time being because I liked having the natural flow. I still take an occasional ibuprofen if the cramping is unbearable, but I prefer to use natural methods.
Restorative Yoga poses, hot tea, heat, and rest seem to help more.
I’m glad I went on the shots a decade ago, because this gave my body time to heal from the endometriosis and be able to give birth to a gorgeous little girl. But now, I enjoy the monthly gift of cleansing that nature has given me.
This is my time to honor my womanhood and the goddess within.
*****
{Check in with your body}
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