troublemakers

For You Who Are Deep-Feeling.

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I am having a deep-feeling day, but I feel not for myself alone.

There is great sorrow. There is so much loss that has not been acknowledged. Some of it we see, and willfully ignore. Some of it lies unsuspected.

There is ripping open that is happening. The streets flow red with blood, and we are acting as if we all have mere paper cuts. It is no wonder that we go mad when we first begin to see. It is no wonder that some people scream in the streets, before they are removed from view — smeared in advance — so you won’t look twice.

While we were sleeping, the world has changed. We awaken to the new understanding that almost everything we have known before is an artificially constructed nursery for the spiritually impoverished. An orphanage for those who have forgotten their home address.

And the natural human response is horror, is rage, is the sudden and unintegrated memories of what brought you here to this strange time, in this strange place.

Going mad is just par of the course. It is the war you must endure if you wish to leave the playpen, because it is not soft and gauzy walls that hold you in. It is iron. It is stone. It is thick, rough hemp rope. And it is inside you. So is the key. So is the weapon. So is the memory of your own holy legacy.

You will feel alone. Oh, never will you have felt a loneliness as deep as you do while you are becoming free. You will believe you are utterly and hopelessly alone, but that is only an illusion created by poor sight-lines. That is why you need the vision. If you could see it all, you would not have been corralled in the first place.

To see the landscape of your own kingdom requires the inner eye. The eye that sees into the deep. Let it open, but do not be fooled into thinking it can understand what it sees. It speaks to you in symbols. A language you don’t know. It will take some time and effort to build a mental database that helps you to decipher the secrets encoded in your DNA.

But the inner eye will let you see the hieroglyphs on the wall.

You will gaze beyond the boundaries of your ordinary thoughts. You will see the past, the present, and the future crashing together. You will come to know that there is life in every conceivable place you can look, and none of it is native to Earth. Not even you.

The small identities you have held so close to your chest will become unruly. They will fight back as the boundaries of their authorities dissolve. New identities will emerge from the deep. Wild and primal. Untamed and unconquered. And you will realize you have been taught to fear your own body, your own mind, and especially your own glorious Soul.

And it will break your heart so suddenly that you will feel again.

Let your record stand, Old Soul. Stop letting other people convince you that you don’t know what you’re doing.

You are becoming true, not losing your mind.

You are becoming whole and unified, a condition necessary for you to overcome all odds, and live the dream your Soul put inside you. The one you have managed to keep safe since your youth.

Do you want it badly enough to go through the creative process that causes you to become what it takes to live your impossible dream?

Have you anguished enough to be willing to be changed, from the deep-inside-out?

You are in good company. There are more of us than you can see. At least, if you are using your physical eyes to determine the boundaries of reality and non-reality. Like you, we are working silently, in secrecy, to find the answers to the questions we are forbidden to ask, and we know you are out there, now beginning the journey.

We will meet you in your dreams. You shall not fall. There is an entourage who accompanies your steps. And when finally you have coaxed that tiny little spark into a blazing fire, you will see us, and we will see you. We shall gather ’round and dance our celebration in the warmth and truth of your fire.

And life will never be the same.

 

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Alison Nappi

Alison Nappi

Alison Nappi is the creator of The Wildness Deck; she is a writer, a creative consultant, and spiritual teacher coaching Wild Women back to the arts of creation and embodiment through ceremony, creativity, and oracular feats of wildness and wonder. When she splits off from the pack, you may find Alison howling at the moon through a thick canopy of trees, singing songs with trumpeting daffodils, or dancing her embodied prayers around a campfire, mud in her hair. Like Alison on Facebook or send an email to be added to her mailing list.
Alison Nappi