I Want To Know. {poetry}
I want to know what it would be like
to feel you stand beside me.
Have your arm around my shoulders.
To hold your hand as we walk.
I want to know what it would be like
to be pulled against your chest.
Enclosed in your arms.
To hear your heartbeat against my ear.
I want to know what it would be like
to feel your breath on my neck.
The air against my skin where your hand just left.
The space between our lips before they meet.
I want to know what it would be like
to feel your face beneath my hands.
The texture of your lips, to trace
the line of your jaw with my fingertips.
I want to know what it would be like
to run my hand down the curve of your back.
To lay my head between your shoulder blades.
To kiss your skin with my eyelashes.
I want to know what it would be like
if you pulled my hair back,
opened my mouth with yours,
let your tongue create a new dance with mine.
I want to know what it would be like
if, when we kiss, the stars explode.
If the earth stops turning.
If time stands still.
I want to know what it would be like
for you to cup my breasts
like sacred things,
and rest your head between them.
I want to know what it would be like
to be tangled up together.
Hot, salty, sated,
drunk on each other.
I want to know what it would be like
to feel your weight on me,
pressing me down,
inviting me to surrender.
I want to know what it would be like
to see you so turned on
you lose control,
fall into the abyss of death
to wake again in my arms.
I want to know what it would be like
to take you in my mouth
and let you feed me.
To drown in you, completely.
I want to know what it would be like
to wake up to your kisses on my thigh.
The soft melting when I invite you inside.
The sweet agony of unleashed desire.
I want to know what it would be like
when we sleep side by side,
if my dreams would be sweeter,
and my waking gentler.
I want to know what it would be like
for you to hold me as I cry.
To let me sob and shake and sigh,
and know you won’t let go.
I want to know what it would be like
to feel your fingertips touch mine
so lightly that a hair could pass between,
and the whole universe waits in that moment.
I want to know what it would be like
to sit around a sacred fire.
To sing and dance with God forever.
To reach into the flames together.
I want to know what it would be like
to wrap my arms around your chest,
to press myself against your back.
To pretend you’re all I’ll ever need.
I want to know what it would be like
to release all my longing without you leaving.
Without my intensity making you run.
To know you will stay, always.
I want to know what it would be like
to feel your hand on the small of my back,
guiding me forward, supporting me.
Not needing words.
I want to know what it would be like
to know you so intimately that I know
the pathways your blood
takes through your body.
The secrets the air takes
as it leaves your lungs.
I want to know what it would be like
to wind our bodies into one.
To bind ourselves together so tightly.
That there is no space for air.
I want to know what it would be like
to speak without words.
To know if the silence we share
has magic in it.
I want to know what it would be like
to fall asleep with my head on your chest
To feel the soft rise and fall.
of your precious breath.
I want to know what it would be like
to look into your eyes forever,
to watch you change and grow,
and know I’m in there.
I want to know what it would be like
to smile and see your eyes light up.
To feel you soften under
the warmth of my gaze.
I want to know what it would be like
if we sit together in silence.
To find new layers of meaning
and ask different questions of God.
I want to know what it would be like
to whisper a thousand prayers in your ears.
To listen with devotion side by side
for answers, as night falls.
I want to know what it would be like
to see the infinite, the endless, the formless
in the sun’s reflection in your eyes.
To fall and lose myself in that.
I want to know what it would be like
if you feel like a miracle
when I hold you in my arms,
to let go this breath of waiting.
I want to know
if loving you
would make me a better woman,
and you a better man.
If it would change everything.
I want to know
if we are each others’ medicine.
If this love could save us both.
If it could change the world.
I want to know
if I could find God
in the white-hot flame
of this timeless fire.
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*****
Stephanie Lisa Kelly is a coach, writer and mystical punk. She is also a restless creative, passionate instigator, wild-hearted dreamer, free spirit, urban shaman, soul alchemist, tribe-weaver, and international vagabond. Her heart-work consists in (re)igniting the sacred flame in women who hear the call to rise and reclaim their freedom, power and wild spirit. She is the creator of the Sacred Passage Retreat (coming soon!) and hosts workshops on spirituality, authentic relating and mindfulness. She believes that the world will be saved by women who dare to set themselves on fire and become powerful agents of change, that surrender leads to magic (always), that goofiness is medicine, and that campfires and mountaintops are sacred. You could contact her via her website, Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.