Ebb And Flow. {poetry}
{source}
At first
it’s just the simplest instruction:
Be here.
Now.
Not at your workplace
where that endless mountain of paperwork awaits you.
Where there’s voicemails and e-mails to return.
Where the daily grind really lives its true meaning.
Not at home,
where chores and adult responsibilities lie.
Always something to do,
always some other project.
Not in the past,
where mistakes and failures
lie in wait to torment you
with reminders
of where you weren’t good enough,
of all the ways you failed.
And not in the future,
where a million fears are ready to pounce
and weigh you down
in the incessant possibilities
of ways in which
life can go wrong.
Just here in this safe,
quiet space
that you create for yourself.
Everything else on hold,
nothing you have to do
other than be present
with yourself.
Be here.
Then the smallest,
quietest breath
connecting you to your body.
Bringing the attention away
from that busy mind
where all those thoughts still swirl
in that chaotic, constant vortex.
Notice the body,
notice the movement,
notice all the sensations that arise.
Feel, don’t think.
Notice, don’t judge.
Then, the inevitable ebb and flow begins.
In —
to the heartbeat,
the creaks and cracks,
the touch.
To the muscles,
the joints,
the bones.
And deeper down
to the earth
supporting you,
holding you up.
And out —
to the connectedness
you tap into
while in this space.
Part of the whole,
joined with the all.
Not separate and lonely
but part of
and so, so loved.
In and out.
In and out.
Feel, don’t think.
Be, don’t do.
Her words are your guides,
leading you into the spaces
your conscious mind can’t go.
You follow the lines
of your tendons,
your veins.
An intricate network of sensations
and feelings
you normally never notice,
never sense.
And the ways in which you react,
the great teacher
your body can be.
It’s not about comfort.
It’s about watching,
seeing,
tracking.
The whys and hows
draw connections
that the mind can’t understand
but the soul knows
all too well.
There are stories here.
There are vitally important tales to tell
and retell.
There is a song
that only you can sing.
And for a moment —
the briefest, most imperceptibly small moment —
there is peace.
Nothing else matters.
Nowhere else,
no one else,
nothing but you.
Completely settled.
Completely present.
Loved and supported and held.
Perfect in all the impossible ways —
in the crevices of all your bumps
and bruises
and scars.
You.
Here.
Now.
Breathe and be.
And then
the gentle reminder:
you can’t stay here forever.
Tiny, kind movements.
Being as gentle to yourself
as possible
with little wiggles
and pushes.
The mind comes back into the driver’s seat
with all of those dutiful reminders.
Life needs to be lived,
after all.
So you come back
to the thoughts
and tasks of the day.
You come back to the plans
and I have tos.
You let go of that wonderful space
in which you felt so free
from all of this.
But you know how to get there now.
You can come back.
The map is written
in every cell of your body
and it’s so easy to follow
you can do it without thinking.
You must do it without thinking.
Just follow those lines,
let the body take you in,
drift on the ocean
of your own experience.
It’s really that simple.
Just take the time to go
and you will go.
Just create the space to be
and you will be.
That same ebb and flow
on a greater scale —
in to this space,
and out to the real world.
In to the quiet
and out to the chaos.
Learning to see the lessons in all of it —
all of those times,
all of those places,
all of those experiences.
Learning to follow the tide
of your own existence
without resistance.
Surrendering to the movement,
the cycles of change.
Letting go.
Ebb and flow.
***
Beverly Fox is a therapist and yogi, currently seeking her RYT200 teacher certification. She believes that the body is a pathway to one’s true voice, and seeks to utilize her experiences as a helper to assist others in finding their authentic selves, healing their own wounds and living their true meaning. She loves writing, and frequently experiments with fiction, poetry and memoir at her website.
***
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