Heartbreak: The Fire And Ice Of Love. {poetry}
I see myself in you, and you in me. But my heart bleeds red bloody waves when it hears your name. Love, you are always there, but never as expected.
You hold my heart in your hands, but you seem to forget about it. Why all that pain?
I wonder, now, what love is. Is it truly that pink and gold breeze that I have been seeing in movies? No, it doesn’t feel that way.
You have hurt me, you have left me scattered. Sometimes destroyed, left with no words. Facing the void. You have made me lose self-confidence many times. If I am not worthy of love, am I worthy of being?
Love, you have shattered my dreams a thousand times. I have drawn our story in my mind, painted our life on the walls. But every time, you have been the undoing of it all.
But still I’m asking for more. Why?
Because I do know that you are there to teach.
As I read my story with you, dear Love, it seems that you could be meant to set the light on some of my grayest parts.
It seems hard to understand, especially when we are right in the middle of a harsh relationship. But when things don’t work out as expected, we are shown that we need to fall into place first with ourselves. That we need to find peace within.
If the outside can’t bring happiness and support, we have no other way but to look inside ourselves, and face the need to be able to stand on our own two feet.
Love is a blessing, but love can’t fill the void of attention and care that we sometimes feel. We, each of us, are the only ones able to provide to our own selves that unconditional love which we expect.
If we rely on others too much, mainly on our relationships, we completely feel destroyed when love leaves or turns out differently from what was expected.
Yet, even if these relationships seem rough from an outside perspective, even if they make us bleed, they may be some of our greatest teachers.
Love makes us grow. It is the sacredness of ourselves, unfolding.
This is the aftermath of one of my love stories.
You are
The heartache.
But my breath
Still won’t
Let you go.
You are
What’s left,
With no answers.
The questions
With no name,
Almost exhaled
Without hope,
In between gazes.
You are
The bravery,
Of the wait.
Years and centuries of time,
It seems,
Sitting in the middle of a green field,
Wild flowers blooming,
Expecting a touch.
You are
The madness
Of me.
A black hole of ages,
Only for
The splendor of a word.
When?
I set alight,
At night,
The candle
Of our love.
It dances,
Slowly praying.
You are
The evil.
Evil of all angels,
The most sacred guardian
Holding the key,
The door
To the fiery abysses.
You are
The unknown.
My body leaping
Into the ocean,
Resting in your wind.
Your words
Never speak your letters.
Your hands
Fly so high,
But your mouth
Moves backwards when you speak.
I can hear
Our love
Breaking away,
The rhythm of a funeral.
Why?
You are
The wave,
The death and the rebirth.
The never-tamed,
But always there.
Still, never
Within easy reach.
You are
A painting.
Wildly lying on the wall,
You tell a story,
Could be unchanged.
But your colors,
They vibrate
In your twirling mind,
And the story of your shapes
Always varies.
You are
A modern witch of spells.
Magic potions,
Probably. Hypnosis,
Who knows?
Those eyes,
Jewelry boxes of light.
In the rise and fall,
The expectations never fulfilled
Along the minutes, hours, or days
Of a road with you,
Windy.
You seem to stand
On top of shadows and light realms,
Smiling.
The planets,
Softly pulling our threads
They do know,
Trust me,
Your tricks.
Are you real?
You are
The Teacher.
The challenge
Behind the breakdown.
The reasons
Behind the tears.
The void of my heart,
To be filled…
My own two hands?
Are we,
Am I,
Able to stand alone?
I know,
Deep down,
That I would still be so small,
So childish,
Without our cracking.
You are,
Eventually,
The king of all sacred evils,
Or, maybe,
You Could Be
The Fire & Ice…
Life?
Love, you seem to flow like water, you escape like the wind. You have flown away, once again, like the breeze.
But I know that you are here to teach, and I am eager to learn.
***
Sophie Gregoire is a thinker. You may often find her with a new idea or a new concept to explain, holding a notebook and pencil. Also found reading and writing, she is more than anything an independent soul. She enjoys traveling and getting lost in new places, namely in Asia. She says it helps understanding our worlds, its people and the humankind. She loves writing to transform her endless thoughts into some kind of reality, and to keep the little piece of sanity she still has. She savors coffee, encounters, Yoga and meditation, and cats… while her own cat is her greatest muse! You could contact Sophie via Facebook and on her writing page.
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