From Soul to Ego, With Love. {poetry}
{source}
My soul asked my ego out on a date…
Believe me, no one was expecting it.
They are like fire and water, some whispered.
Well, opposites do attract, others argued.
I just stood back and watched it all unfold.
I never knew my soul could be such a charming romantic.
I never knew my ego could be such a tender sweetheart.
When my ego answered the door at 7 pm sharp,
my soul was holding two purple flowers (dashing move, I know) and this is what she said:
I have something to give you,
but first you need to stop running in circles, look me in the eyes and breathe.
I want to pollinate your deepest potential,
but first you need to be here, right now,
even though the world feels impossibly heavy with heartache.
This first flower is for your most vulnerable disposition.
I am here to court your terror.
I will shower your panic with loving attention.
I will look inside the machinery of your making and learn all the circuits —
spot the crossed wires and frayed edges and broken parts that never got replaced.
I’ll note the pristine strength and grit that helps you identify yourself in this wild human world.
All the fiery proclamation.
The intelligent discernment.
And the sexy, powerful pride
Because my dear, I notice everything.
I will not try to repair.
I will nod my head and widen my eyes.
I will soften my voice and make my body into a shape like reverence.
I will learn you — the tiny you — the wounded you.
I will love you — for exactly where you are in this moment.
And when I’ve memorized your pain,
I will let it go.
All of it.
Like a flurry of dandelion wishes
caught by the
perfect wind.
My ego’s jaw was on the floor, you can imagine, right?
When she finally pulled herself together, she asked my soul about the second flower.
My soul held it out and grinned.
This flower is for you to give to me, she said.
My ego blushed, embarrassed that she hadn’t come prepared.
My soul wiped the blush off my ego’s cheeks with one curving, shameless finger.
Court me, and life becomes less terror and more curiosity, she cooed.
Fall in love with me, every day, and the world becomes less angering and more humbling, she chanted.
Honor me and the Universe introduces you to cooperative crowds of passion, who gather in spaces free of scarcity.
who support one another to do the brave work of waking up.
I don’t know if they stayed there at the door or walked into the night.
I don’t know if they kissed right then or waited til goodbye.
I lost track of two versus one,
of this or that,
of then and now.
The divide dissolved,
sudden as a birth cry
and it all turned purple petals tracing dances
down my face.
***
Jocelyn Edelstein is a writer, filmmaker and choreographer who believes that stories activate the human code of empathy and voice our animal truths. She has been previously published in three Best Women’s Travel Writing anthologies, Conscious Dancer Magazine, 3Elements Review, Commonline Journal, The Doctor’s Review and The Huffington Post, and she has written adventure copy for Hip Camp and thegorge.com. When Jocelyn isn’t writing, she’s making documentaries in Brazil and teaching dance in the Pacific Northwest. Her film work can be found at urbanbodyproject.com and her writing can be read at her blog.
***
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