Protect the Innocent, and Raise Your Voices About Child Abuse.
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I bolted upright in bed last night at 3 a.m. thinking “What am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself? This is totally ridiculous, completely futile. I cannot make a dent in this problem. I give. I’m going to write about fluffy, pleasant things, things my parents can be proud of and share on their Facebook page with a little note that says “So proud of our girl!” That will be easy. Far easier than ending childhood sexual abuse.”
So, here’s what I came up with:
If we don’t need to raise our voices about child abuse…
Let’s pretend Big Pharma is the cure, actual healthcare, instead of one giant brainwashing machine to keep us all sick.
Let’s’ pretend religion and God are all about hate, judgment and “I am better than you.”
While we are in complete and total denial…
Let’s pretend our prisons aren’t full of the fallout of childhood sexual abuse.
Let’s pretend our teen pregnancy rate is not through the roof because of childhood sexual abuse.
Let’s pretend our drug addiction epidemic in this country is not because we all sit in the silence of shame.
Childhood sexual abuse is everywhere, yet people refuse to see it, refuse to confront it, refuse to even acknowledge, let alone heal, the pain of those who have experienced it.
For most survivors or people who have been directly affected by childhood sexual abuse, it is just too sad. It’s too horrible. It is too disgusting to even think of, except for child-abusers, in which case they are thinking about it all the time.
24/7 child-abusers are thinking of new, innovative ways to get to your children.
But for us parents, or anyone who has been touched by childhood sexual abuse, if we are going to pretend it doesn’t exist…
Let’s put signs on our doors, which say: “Childhood sexual abuse doesn’t exist here. We don’t talk about it in our house. The silence of shame lives here.”
For the 90% of abusers who are a part of your family’s trusted inner circle, all those posing as friendly babysitters, loving family members, helpful teachers and supportive coaches, let them know they are welcome in your home.
Add to your sign, for all those posers who walk through your door, “You keep up your facade, we’ll keep up ours.”
In the meantime, I can’t give up on this cause. I can’t give up on innocent children who are being violated. I can’t give up on those who have been violated and are too frightened to speak their truth, because I was that child and I was that person living in the paralyzing fear.
No one deserves to live in that lonely, hopeless place.
So here is what I will do: I will keep talking. I will keep sharing. I will keep using my loud voice for the sake of my children and all the other children who are silently suffering every single day.
On my door, there will be a sign: Loud voices win.
No silence here. In this home, we talk about childhood sexual abuse. In this home, we do not live in the silence of shame. In this home, we tell all. In this home, there will be consequences for taking your pain out on someone else. I was violated, and I became very loud. If my children are touched, I will become louder. No point in stopping at this home.
You too can talk about abuse in your home. Don’t wait until it is too late. Protect your children. Protect the innocent in our world. Protect our future.
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Christie Del Vesco is a College Administrator and Professor, a Universalist Minister, a member of the RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) Speakers Bureau and single mom. She’s a children’s advocate, a survivor of many forms of sexual violence, and a voice for the survivors who have yet to find their own. Chris is a firm believer that we go through what we do, to help others when they go through the same. She also believes if we would all just “be the change,” we can change the world.
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