you & me

I See You: Creating Authentic Connection.

 

The need to be understood is an innate human desire. We long to be valued for who we are.

We want to be truly seen, for when we are seen, we feel a bond with those around us, and we know that we belong.

This is connection, and it is what we all crave.

But how do we cultivate this connection?

Is it simply the case that we just click with some people and not with others? And what about when distance starts to grow in our relationships, do we brush it off as being misunderstood and let the gap extend? Is there a way in which we can take responsibility in how others connect to us?

I will fully admit that I’m guilty — guilty of complaining when people don’t understand or appreciate who I am and what I’m trying to do. I would blame others for not getting it and subsequently give my power away and put myself in a position of needing external approval, deeply aware that I wasn’t getting the validation I was looking for.

Yet you see, the thing is, the real issue here wasn’t with anyone else. It started, as is usually the case, from within.

It was me. I was guided to take an honest look at myself, and learned that the reason others may not appear to believe in my endeavors was that I wasn’t giving off the impression of believing in myself. I wasn’t giving people a chance to connect with the real me.

Rather than taking the time to describe what I was doing, and leaning into it with ownership and enthusiasm, I would tend to package my thoughts into a pretty box that I knew people could understand and accept. You could call it a force of habit after years of people-pleasing.

I was so far from being authentic that it’s no wonder no one could relate to the superficial speech I laid out for them. And this is when it hit me. If I’m not owning it, how can I expect anyone else to connect with me?

If we want to be understood, then we have to give people a chance to understand. If we want true connection, then we have to reveal the true parts of ourselves that we want people to connect to.

We have to be ourselves unapologetically and put it all out there, which, believe me, I know isn’t easy. There is that honest, messy and oh-so-real place that we want to hide and guard with our lives. However, it is only from this place that we can start to build the soul-affirming connection with others that we hunger for.

After speaking this truth, it is up to others for what they take away from it. Your truth may resonate with them, it may not. This is out of our control. Yet the one thing we can take into our own hands is to give people a chance to see us.

Once we own who we are, and reflect this in our words and our actions, it is incredible to see the rush of abundance that is available to every one of us.

Once I own my power, and accept my role as the creator of my own life, then it is truly amazing to see what doors can open.

I have seen it, in the deeper layers of connection I feel with my mother when we share our experiences, in the freedom of my friendships with people who give me the space to be myself when I don’t pretend to be anything other than who I am, and in the support I receive when I choose to commit to work that expresses who I am on a soul level.

The world is ready to open these doors of meaningful and authentic connection to us, the moment we choose to stand bravely in our own light. The only missing link is you.

This is me.

This is you.

Let us give each other a chance to be seen.

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Amy Walker is a speaker and writer in personal and spiritual development, and is currently based in Dubai, UAE. She is the founder of The Zindagi Project, a community rooted in the power of connection that looks to bring seekers, dreamers and inspirational leaders together on the path of personal and spiritual discovery. Zindagi, meaning ‘life’, is a word that encourages us to play with life, to experiment in all the wonderful ways in which can create our best and most authentic lives together. Find Amy on Instagram or YouTube to find out more about her quest to fall in love with life.

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