Winning with Ourselves.
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The fear of not enough is the black plague of our century.
Not good enough is driving our culture, supporting all the manic doing and going and buying and consuming and searching and hunting.
It’s exhausting, frustrating and, not to mention, painful. Shame hurts. It’s so infused in our consciousness, we don’t even realize how much our hearts hurt.
The ironic flip side of not being enough of something is being too much. Too bright, too bold, too sexy, too loud, too smart, too much of yourself, too much of something… not enough of something else.
If I am too much, I won’t be worthy of love. This thought is everywhere, it’s infiltrated the air we breathe and we have confused this with normal. We’ve confused pain and losing ourselves with love, belonging and connection.
We’ve set ourselves up to make winning with ourselves, and each other, incredibly difficult.
There is nothing wrong with your basic nature.
Most of us haven’t had enough contact, landing inside of our basic nature to truly know it as real and good. We know the emptiness inside as more real than the fullness of our own goodness, light and love.
We crave. We are a culture of craving and consuming to fill that craving.
Craving is the centerfold of not enough, more and more, then too much.
No one ever sits and looks at a beautiful view of the stars and thinks that’s too much. No one looks at the ocean and feels she isn’t good enough in her display of power and vastness. We are made of the same thing as the woods, as the ocean, as the stars, so why do we do this to ourselves?
This insane idea has multiplied and penetrated our collective unconscious. We have unwittingly created our lives out of this. The world runs on it. It fuels our society. It is literally what feeds consumerism. Consuming stuff. Consuming spirituality. Consuming ideas. Consuming ourselves.
There is no one who can tell us what the exact right amount of enough is, or when we’ve crossed the threshold into the land of being too much. The patriarchy likes to keep us hungry. Wanting more. Teaches us to tease each other. Measure and judge each other, including ourselves, up against this invisible yard stick.
Enough is enough.
The soul cannot be measured.
Our basic, good, sacred nature cannot be defined or put in a box or limited or ever, ever not be enough of anything.
That life force that expresses itself as you, as me, as the sun and the moon and the stars, is beyond comprehension and cannot be measured.
This conflict we have set up for ourselves is perpetuating the great epidemic of soul loss and wounding. We have forgotten the holy that runs through all of us, expresses itself through our lives, our paths and our dreams.
This is the human wound we need to heal. This is the wound that will teach us how to love again. Many do not know how to love this wound because that is what caused it: a lack of love. We long for deep, deep love in the parts of our beings that never received it, never felt it, and therefore do not know it is possible or how to do it.
This is a time to reclaim the healing balm of learning the deep ways of fierce gentleness, to restore our sanity, and begin to win with ourselves, and then with each other.
Reclaiming love, learning the ways to bring love back into our hearts, to love the parts of us that are wounded, that never knew love… to reclaim all your soul parts is a radical, revolutionary act.
Call back your vital soul energies so you are no longer addicted to external things, or trying to fill something inside with too much of not enough.
Calling back your soul releases you from the bondage of energetic codependency, waiting for everything to right itself so you can feel full, happy and at peace.
Your soul knows you are good enough. When you finally feel the love of your soul settle safely back into your body, you will sigh with relief. You will know. You will let go. You will be free.
The time is now. We must begin winning with ourselves.
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Dr. Nandi Hetenyi is a shamanic healer, grief midwife, writer, teacher and soul-whisperer. She received her doctorate in clinical psychology from CIIS in addition to spending over 15 years studying and practicing Buddhism, Yoga, meditation, shamanic journey, ritual, energy healing and personal growth. She envisions a world where we feel comfortable in our own skins and are happy about being a human. A world where everyone loves and values themselves as a part of the whole, where self-loathing is an oddity rather than the usual, and the soul’s truth is valued as a gift from the Divine in service of our highest good. Shedding light on the truth of the soul’s story liberates the sacred within to feel comfortable in your own skin. You can follow Dr. Hetenyi on Instagram and find out more about her work on her website.
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