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Our general understanding of love is so puny. We think it’s a feel-good, kind, insipid, milk-and-water thing. It’s not. It can be fierce and ruthless. It can be neutral.

It’s just the space of allowance. It is. It’s the is-ness of things. It’s the space of pure intelligence that everything exists as. It’s all that is. And this is not necessarily kind, or coddling, or soothing. In fact, it is mostly a stripping away of all that is false, all that is not love. And this can be experienced as excruciating. And love lets it happen — the screaming, the suffering. Love is the space in which it happens.

Love is the burning away into nothingness. Love is the peace that enfolds it when it has spent itself.

Love is the unknown into which our plans constantly melt. Love is the wide open not-knowing that we step into in each moment. Love is the steady expansion of our discernment from less-right into more-right.

No reason for love, no season for love, no birth, no death.

Love is the Divine Order within which our lives unfold. It is the disorder in our lives transmuting into order as falsity evaporates. It is the container in which this unfolding takes place, the heaven which always envelops our temporary hells.

It is goodness, truth, beauty.

It is the soul of authenticity. It is the messy chaos of existence. It is all that is. Nothing is outside of its purview.

That’s how we know to trust life. That’s how it is safe to surrender. The universe, our lives, the world, all these happenings exist within the Divine Order which is ultimately creative compassionate divine intelligence. Universal consciousness.

All the masters I have encountered — Baba, Ammachi — you can see in their presence how impersonal they are. Their love is perfectly personal because it is impersonal first. They are Divine Order personified.

I once smiled at Ammachi — a polite, approval-seeking, social smile — and she looked right through me. She didn’t smile back. That is love.

Baba let me go through multiple hells without doing a thing about it, because he was the container and ultimate Divine Order in which it all happened. He knew nothing real could be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.

Knowing this, why would we be afraid? Why would we be rigidly set on a certain experience? Go forth boldly with your desires and promptings, but hold it loosely like you would hold a bird. Relinquish the death grip. Allow for life to co-create with you. And know that where you will be led will be far more wondrous than anything you could ever have planned for yourself. Trust yourself.

The love that you are is in its essence pure freedom.

***

Mangala Ramprakash is whatever the moment calls her to be — a writer when she writes, a cook when she cooks, a teacher when she teaches, a photographer when she makes images. Fluid, dynamic, shape-shifting, and anchored in the I Am, she lives and learns with her zen masters who happen to be her two boys, and blogs occasionally at Keeping Tryst.

***

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