When Your Lover Is in Hell. {poetry}
When your lover is in hell
It’s a wild kind of purgatory
It’s as though
You would give anything
To take the inferno on yourself
Suffer this raging heat for them
Fling yourself into these depths
But the devils have their dues
And nothing can heal
But time
When your lover is in hell
It’s a desperate kind of purgatory
You wander
Banging your fists wall to wall
Seeking the right kind of water
The most magical words
The highest arch-ingest angels
To lessen the sentence
But the devils have their dues
And nothing can free
But time
When your lover is in hell
It’s a maddening kind of purgatory
No conjugal visits
Confusing office hours
Even if you find your way in
Even if your hand finds theirs
It’s as though the most invisible kind of cage
Is between you
So close yet so far away
But the devils have their dues
And nothing can ease
But time
When your lover is in hell
It’s an excruciating kind of purgatory
A powerlessness like no other
An out of control beyond capacity
A sobbing sort of insanity
Literally nothing you can do
But pray
Pray all you want.
The devils have their dues
And nothing can yield
But time
When your lover is in hell
It’s an agonizing kind of purgatory
Seconds are days
Days are weeks
The weeks feel like years
You watch the clock and calendar
mystified and out of your skin
Whispering it all to move just a little faster
But the devils have their dues
And nothing can turn
But time
When your lover is in hell
It’s an exquisite kind of purgatory
You learn so deeply so fully
The connections we make to another
The vows we pledge
The cords we tether
To feel someone so clearly
To love someone so much
That you would instantly take their place
In the endless flames
if it would lessen just an ounce of their pain
But the devils have their dues
And nothing is as committed
As time
When your lover is in hell
It’s a precious kind of purgatory
Because you finally see them completely
For it is only
Here, in hell,
That our whole soul can be seen
It is only here in hell,
That we experience how resilient the human heart is
It is only in the chains of the underworld
That we grasp how strong our lover really is
For even in hell
They will look at you
And say
The devils have their dues
But nothing lasts longer
Than our love
When your lover in hell
It’s often the gateway
To heaven
For it is only through surviving darkness
Side by side
Showing up no matter what
Your witnessing and their walking
Through the wild, desperate, maddening, excruciating, exquisite, precious agony
And making it through
Stronger than before
The fires of hell
Are no match
For this kind of devotion
The devils have their dues
And once paid
They let you out with a knowing smile
A love sealed
In this place
lasts forever.
***
Bekah Finch is a teacher, astrological guide, single mother and nature worshipper. With an MA in ecopsychology, and thousands of hours of experience with movement, mysticism, ritual and earth-based wisdom, she is passionate about offering practices that allow embodiment of our soul purpose through simple ceremony. Bekah adores the planets and stars as much as she reveres the elemental cycles and seasons, and looks to the great above and the great below for inspiration. For more information on virtual classes, workshops, private sessions and more, you can check out https://linktr.ee/bekahmariefinch.