Make Room for Others’ Mental Health Struggles.
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Today I want to talk about making space for people’s imperfections, because we should be honoring our partners’ and other people’s self-care journey. Period.
Sometimes we meet people and the connection seems wonderful, until the honeymoon phase wears off and maybe you realize they aren’t as into fitness as you thought, but they’re asking for help, or you’re the nurturing type and you find out the person you’ve connected with copes with some form of PTSD or severe mental trauma, and they’re asking you to be very compassionate about their mental state in building a relationship.
Maybe they’re a post-crisis victim, who just want to be loved without labels, and form a relationship with someone who sees them for who they are, not what they’ve been through.
This goes out to any empath who ever didn’t give someone a chance because maybe you’ve already gone through your healing journey, and you want a partner who’s on the same level.
That’s ego. Check it at the door the moment you think your healing journey is above someone else’s. The reality is, life is about struggles and the people who overcome them.
There are dudes who say things to their friends like, “You can’t date a girl with trauma or a rape victim, they’re damaged goods now.”
I know, it’s a disgusting perspective. An old cliché put on by stigmas which prevent people from being compassionate towards mental health and giving people space to unpack themselves in front of a new partner.
As an empath, I also used to find myself meeting and attracting people who were really shedding a lot, working through a lot, maybe just at the beginning of their healing journey. Only, after a while it was very draining when I didn’t know how to ground and release emotions yet. So, to protect my energy, I made a boundary that I would not date someone who clearly came into my life needing my help. Don’t mix dating with light-work, simple, right?
What I didn’t realize was how limiting this made connecting with people. You see, if you’re an empath or someone who enjoys helping people, it’s a gift. It’s not for us to decide who comes into your life and needs a sprinkle of the very magic you spread every day. That’s just all part of your journey, their journey.
Even thinking that they came into your life for your help, and not thinking that they’ll enrich your life just as much, is ego. Check it at the door.
Bumping into different people at different stages of their journey than you are, so you can help each other grow, is what life’s all about. So, we may help each other grow, thrive, and teach each other things — about each other and ourselves.
Will it be a struggle? Yes, sometimes. But worth it. Because when you love unconditionally without judgments or expectations, your capacity for love will only grow.
Throw the whole victim/savior/ally triangle mindset out the window. The reality is, we all go through trauma or struggles in life, to grow into who we’re meant to be and shape us into unique individuals. But more than that, we all deserve love, compassion, and the space to grow and heal without feeling self-conscious, or like we’re anything but human beings, all bumping our way through life.
When you make room for people’s different parts and imperfections, something magical happens, you make room for love to grow where you wouldn’t have given it a chance. So, make room for other people’s self-care. The possibilities will surprise you. You’ll open your heart and give yourself the ability to see them, and their whole soul, for who they are.
Open up, work on things together, create a support system of trust and communication, make mental health checklists, just do it together.
Approaching mental health with this compassionate narrative instead of telling someone Go heal and figure yourself out, then you’ll be ready to date — or that someone with a colorful soul isn’t lovable — implies that we’re not all fallible human beings who make mistakes, have trauma stories, and mental health struggles.
Just see people for who they are and embrace that, with loving awareness.
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Jordan Forget is a loving father, a healer, and a seeker of the Old Norse wisdom. He draws from his background in kinesiology and his reiki training to provide his clients with a path to healing and balance. He has dedicated himself to helping others through this holistic approach, and is committed to continuing on his own path. Through his practice, he aims to demystify the road to being healthy and whole, and strives to provide his clients with the tools and training to be the best possible version of themselves.
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