poetry

Winter Solstice: What Growth Comes Next. {poetry}

{Photo credit: Jessiclaire Wolf}

 

I want new growth
I want to change, heal, move
and become all that embodies acceptance and alignment with my highest potential and capacity for love

I find myself in this space every year
During these darkest of days
This time where my senses are heightened and my energies become intensified
These days where the feelings that I previously flipped through almost carelessly
Are now so strong that I can look deeply into them
I see strong roots
And weaker ones
I discover rot
I notice the spaces I’ve outgrown
Places I’ve become root-bound
I find I’ve taken root in sandy, unsupportive ground
Ground unsuited for the new growth I’m anticipating
Growth I can feel wanting to break out from my limbs and heart
Growth my soul is dependent upon
I can see clearly where I need change

Winter solstice is my New Year’s
I slow down
I’m alone more
And I do a lot of patient sifting and deeper perception
I spend time intentionally in inward reflection

Perhaps it looks more like fumbling around in the dark
Deciding I’m not going to trip anymore
over this clutter
I’m ready to get my hands dirty and anything not life-giving has to go

I always try to leave this time lighter
I purposefully let go of anything I’m carrying that’s become unnecessary

This dark time is a gift
There are things you will find here that don’t show up in the light
I know this is where I do greater growth in these harder-to-reach, difficult areas of my being

So I dig further

Into desperation and vulnerability
Into inadequacy

I choose to love my darkness
I spend time with my wounded areas
I hold it all cradled like a small child
Tenderly like a fragile wounded bird

I know all that is cultivated here
Is a wealth that only comes through painful processing and slow intentional healing
Strength that can come from tending to what I may have a tendency to overlook, or leave neglected

So I prune my plant
Removing gently the dead leaves
Clipping away anything that is unhealthy
I change my soils
Moving to places and people that support me showing up in my flaws and imperfections
Places I can change
Places I feel free explore more of this great gift of life I’ve been given
People who listen as I brave my depths
People who show up fearlessly with theirs

What beauty and growth comes next
What wide open arms we create for the world around us
As we embrace this wild acceptance and do the challenging work on our own precious souls

Your light is needed
Come out and illuminate the world
Whether a gracefully dancing candle
Or a brilliantly blazing fire
Show up on this our darkest of days
With your beautiful gift of light.

***

Jessiclaire Wolf is a romantic, poet, wanderer, photographer, and lover of the earth. In her free time, she loves traveling, camping and exploring abandoned spaces. She is a domestic abuse survivor, and some of her art is focused on raising awareness and breaking the stigma of shame surrounding victims and speaking out.

***

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