Signs You Don’t Love Yourself Enough. 💔
Your love story with yourself is the basis and filter for every other relationship and story in your life. Your external reality reflects what you subconsciously believe and accept about yourself. You can resist, try or change the outside all you want, but until your inner Love Story changes, you’ll keep creating and attracting the same outcome.
Have you ever googled something like…
👉🏼 Signs he / she is into you or Signs they are falling in / out of love or Signs they are a narcissist / cheating on you, or any kind of flags – green or red – referring to your person of interest?
If you are reading this, you probably have.
And have you ever stopped to ask yourself the same question regarding your own relationship with yourself?
Probably not… and that’s the reason why you may be looking outside of you for the red flags you have been missing first and foremost in yourself.
We are so used to living with ourselves that most of the time we aren’t even aware of how poorly we think + feel about ourselves, speak to ourselves and as a result how we treat ourselves.
You can learn how to notice the red flags in others, but if you miss them in yourself, you will keep manifesting an outer version of the same issues that you aren’t willing to face own or heal in your inner story.
I’d like to share with you below a list of symptoms of low self-love that I periodically check when I feel out of touch with myself, and which I keep updating as my self-awareness increases.
Feel free to use this list to check in with yourself today and become aware of where you need to heal or to work on yourself some more at this point in your journey.
Before I dive deeper, a self-love memo from our sponsor ⏰ ❤️
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🚩AND NOW… ENTER THE RED FLAGS 🚩
If you feel triggered by any of these red flags, take the trigger as a sign that you need to work on yourself in that particular aspect.
I’ve struggled with all of them at different points in my life, and I am still working on some.
Loving, healing and creating yourself is not a straight line, but an inward journey + upward spiral to the truest, freest and most aware version of you.
A bad day or a moment of weakness is not necessarily a sign that you don’t love yourself.
I’m talking about longer periods of time (weeks, months or even years), in which your behavior towards yourself is consistently abusive and it displays any of these red flags.
8 Signs that You Don’t Love Yourself Enough 💔
I’ll start with the most obvious, physical ones and move inward to the least obvious and deeper ones:
1. SELF-ABANDONMENT or SELF-OBSESSION
Not caring for your physical appearance, or the opposite: obsessively worrying about it and altering your looks in a way that endangers your health in order to meet a standard of beauty or perfection that doesn’t really exist off screen.
SELF-ABANDONMENT:
Not putting proper care into how you dress, how you look, how you present yourself around others is telling them that you don’t care about how they experience you.
This usually comes from the wound of not feeling seen, loved or wanted in a relationship or in life in general.
If you have stopped caring about how others perceive or experience you, it is because on some level you have stopped caring about how YOU experience you.
This is a sign of self-abandonment, resulting from low self-esteem. A way of giving up on yourself. It shows that you don’t feel you are worth the effort. You don’t esteem yourself enough to try.
SELF-OBSESSION:
On the opposite end of self-abandonment >> When your obsession about your physical appearance gets in the way of enjoying your life, endangers your health and is prioritized over healing your heart, it is a sign of self-denial, also resulting from low self-esteem.
Both extremes are sides of the same coin.
This varies from person to person, there is no one-rule-fits-all here. Everyone’s standards are unique and different.
Only YOU know, in your own case if you are not keeping up with your usual standards and self-care routine or if you are obsessing about your looks to the point where it controls your life or even puts it at risk.
2. SELF-PUNISHMENT
Treating your body like a dumpster and an enemy, instead of your best friend – aka, the imperfect Work of Art + Wonder that it really is.
Addiction to self-destructive habits + substances: The most common ones are unhealthy foods or overeating, over-drinking, not exercising / moving, or not getting enough sleep — and not doing anything to address or heal the underlying issue that causes this behavior.
Your body is your home. If you vandalize your home, where will you live for the rest of your life?
You wouldn’t walk into your house and start kicking, breaking and destroying everything. You wouldn’t burn your own car. You wouldn’t pour a drink on your laptop or TV.
And these are just objects. Yet this is what you’re doing to your body when you treat it like garbage.
Your are not garbage. YOU ARE ART.
YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE WORTH MILLIONS.
Start owning your value and the world will reflect it back.
Destroying your home is a form of punishing yourself.
It indicates there is a deeper issue or wound at the core of you, causing you pain, which you need to address and heal AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, before it destroys your health.
When you avoid or dismiss this issue, you numb and block the pain through habits or substances that end up causing you even more pain. It’s a vicious cycle that you need to find the courage to break.
3. SELF-HATE or SELF-DESTRUCTION
Moodiness, anger, bitterness, apathy, dissatisfaction with life — many of these leading to depression or other mental illness.
You’ve been through a lot. But if you lose your appetite for life, if you stop tending to your joy, what are you really fighting for?
The reason you are feeling disconnected from life is because you are giving up on yourself on a soul level.
You are letting the world’s sick narrative or other people’s stories and treatment dictate who you are, what you deserve, what you can or cannot do / be / have.
But see, you are not a victim of this life. You are the creator of it, however long it lasts. You are here to CREATE YOUR WORLD, not let the world break you.
Now more than ever you need to prioritize your joy, aliveness and empowerment. Prioritize your heart. Prioritize your peace of mind, your sanity, your love.
Protect your energy fiercely from any vampires that attempt to destroy your peace. Prioritize your personal development, so you can face the zombies and distractions coming for your soul.
4. SELF-ABUSE or SELF-REJECTION
Treating others poorly on a regular basis. Being dismissive, rude, condescending or disrespectful. Recurring envy and jealousy towards others.
I’m not just talking about categorically bad or abusive behavior here. Abusing others is UNACCEPTABLE and it needs to be treated in therapy.
I’m referring to minor daily episodes of projecting your anger, frustration, disappointment, dissatisfaction on others, or criticizing, gossiping and putting others down in order to make yourself feel or look better, or being rude to strangers or unkind to those who truly love you.. etc.
I know it’s hard to hear this, but when you treat others like crap, most times it is because you are PROJECTING your own unresolved issues on them.
You reject their story, their wholeness, their light, because on a soul level you are rejecting your own.
We’ve ALL done this, we do it often. It’s easier to be rude, dismissive or unkind to others, than to face our deeper issues and learn to love ourselves through them.
Mistreating and disrespecting others is a result of mistreating and rejecting yourself on a soul level; a result of depriving yourself of your own love, respect and affection. It’s a negative reaction to not feeling loved by life.
BUT YOU ARE!
If only you could understand that YOU ARE THE ADMINISTRATOR AND CREATIVE DIRECTOR of this love. You are the human channel, the filter through which ANYTHING YOU DESIRE can come to life.
You have the power to change your entire reality, by changing the inner story you have about yourself, and start giving yourself first the love you expect or demand from others.
5. SELF-DENIAL
Not prioritizing yourself, not improving yourself, not investing in yourself…
… Whether it’s time, energy, healthy habits, education — when you postpone whatever you need to invest in yourself right now, you are delaying your empowerment.
You are denying your potential, your greatness, your right to create the life you desire.
This keeps you disempowered and causes you to shift the focus away from YOURSELF – the only person you can heal + change to complaining about everything else that’s wrong with others or the world.
The busier you get improving + creating yourself and rebuilding your life — starting with the first or smallest thing you can do RIGHT NOW, the less time you’ll have to notice everything that’s wrong with the world around you.
In the meantime, you actually become empowered to change it.
6. SELF-NEGLECT
Giving all of yourself, your time, creative energy to others, while neglecting your own needs and leaving nothing for yourself.
This goes hand in hand with the previous point, but it deserves a special mention, especially relevant to people-pleasers, leaders, healers and creative superheroes of any kind.
It’s easier to be somebody else’s hero than to creatively become your own. Self-love, self-mastery and self-respect are the highest marks of a real hero.
You may think that by pouring 100% of yourself into others you are showing love, responsibility or service, but if your heart is in red numbers, I promise you, they will NOT see or feel the value of your love. Let alone reciprocate it.
REAL LOVE IS SUSTAINABLE, it is a generous exchange of aliveness, a giving and receiving. REAL LOVE IS NEVER ONE-SIDED.
You cannot truly give to others what you, yourself are not willing or able to receive. It may seem like it’s working for a while, but you will end up depleted and resentful. The cycle will eventually break or YOU will break.
7. SELF-DEVALUATION
Allowing or sustaining toxic connections, partnerships or relationships of any kind.
This usually comes as a result and combination of all the above signs, since they all feed and build on each other, but given the amount of beautiful sensitive souls caught in toxic situations, I thought it deserved its own mention.
As someone who has allowed and sustained many toxic connections over the years, until I finally learned to love and value myself…
…I want you to know that I understand how addictive they are, I understand the pain and cognitive dissonance caused by the trauma bonding which you mistake as “love,” I understand how difficult it is to choose yourself and break free from people who repeatedly disempower, disrespect, abuse and devalue you.
But if you find yourself in an abusive situation, please realize that even getting to this place has come as a result of a major self-love deficit in yourself.
The only way out then is through yourself – by finding the courage to break the cycle and loving yourself enough to take the first step to your freedom NOW – whatever this means in your own case and story.
I have a separate article focusing only on this subject, which I will share with you soon.
8. SELF-DISMISSAL
Not celebrating yourself. Not taking the time to congratulate yourself for your minor or bigger victories.
Celebration, appreciation and gratitude are the currency and attractors of true abundance.
You cannot create the life, love or work you desire, without learning to appreciate and celebrate yourself for what you have already done — as small as it may seem.
Even if you happen to create by force, you will end up losing the blessings because you cannot keep that which you are not able or willing to receive.
Life is short and 99% of it is made of all the little things that you don’t take the time to love while you are in a hurry to live it. Or rather, to survive through it.
But you are meant for so much more than struggle and survival.
Think of this life like a big vacation on earth. You don’t go on vacation just to rush home. Stop running from the beauty of your life. Learn to love the scenery. Learn to enjoy your brief human experience.
SPOILER: It always ends, for everyone of us. But we’re still HERE happening TODAY.
Align with the heartbeat of life, the soul of your existence, and it will get you where you need to go, in perfect timing.
Don’t rush the beauty of becoming.
Learn to allow and to receive.
I hope these signs can point you to where you need more love, healing and empowerment in your life right now.
If you want more fuel, in this video I go deeper into how Self-Love can change your life and how it’s absolutely necessary in order to manifest a fulfilling life, work, relationships and everything your heart desires.
Here’s to a deeper, truer and healthier Love Story with Life!
You deserve to create and experience it.
*****
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT, COACHING + RESOURCES:
If you want to love yourself in a deeper way, through a guided and solid support system, join my 4-week Self-Love Journey and end or start the year, healing and upgrading your relationship with yourself, as you increase your self-worth and step into your power.
If you are ready to shift your focus from all that disempowers you and put it on loving, healing and creating yourself, get the details HERE and come love yourself back to life!
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Andrea Balt
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