Is my calling going to feed my family?
By Kiri Bear.
I was called in the middle of dancing
In the pause between the first wave and the second
Between the in breath and the out breath
The voice of the earth pulled at my heart
“I call you” she said
“Yes” I answered, without hesitation
Take me, use me, let me serve You
An inward breath, a pause, a moment of clarity, of ecstasy
And then I crumbled
I am not enough! I am a poor instrument! I will fuck it up! I’m lazy! I’m a terrible procrastinator!
I became small, shut down,
A woman reached out to offer comfort and I snarled, I almost bit her hand.
I was called but I don’t know what it means
These moments of insight seem so profound
But afterward the current of life pulls me onward like nothing has changed
Before enlightenment, get up, go to work, make dinner, do the bedtime routine.
After enlightenment, get up, go to work, make dinner, do the bedtime routine.
Is this all there is? Is this all I am?
Is my calling going to feed my family?
Is the Earth going to set me up with a sweet job?
Am I wrecking it by asking these questions?
I am a tree
I am rooted in the Earth
My limbs give shade, shelter and solace
Creatures call my ample boughs home
My generousity is limitless
Yet never diminishes me or those who receive my grace
Who would find fault in the beauty of these twisted branches?
Who would measure the performance of my striving shoots?
Who could doubt that I am enough?
Just as I am
Rooted in the Earth
Reaching for the sky
I am the voice of compassion
I am the voice of the earth
I am the voice of the universal life force
I transform the world by being me.
Discover your true nature.
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Kiri Bear is a mystic, mother, poet, crafter, gardener, friend and professional paper-pusher. Her passion is in bringing awareness to the reality that human beings are fundamentally part of the whole earth community. She is on a journey of reconnection, starting with herself, weaving vulnerability, spirituality and compassion for all life into a whole new way of being. Kiri is working to ground this understanding deeply within her life and find out what that actually looks like in the middle of suburbia. You can share in the journey here.
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