My Inner Child. {poetry}
{source}
Embracing and re-parenting my inner child has been a deeply moving, healing and rewarding experience for me.
When I first started working with her, I discovered a wounded, insecure part of my personality that had suffered fear, shame, guilt, grief, hurt and rejection during my early years — all of which had left deep imprints on my psyche. I realized this unhappy child-like part was sabotaging many experiences in my adult life.
My initial attempt to connect with her went unheeded. I found her sitting alone in a dark room, unwilling to talk or let me in. She was in deep pain — feeling unloved, lonely and worthless — and her wounds were quite raw. She trusted no one. It took persistence and patience to establish a heartfelt connection with her.
But just by giving her the unconditional love, understanding and support she had never received, and being present to her pain, it opened up a miraculous pathway to healing her emotional wounds. It was an amazing experience, and I immediately felt a heady lightness and spaciousness I had forgotten was available to me.
As I kept working with her, I discovered the roots of many of my present-day responses to life and persistent relationship challenges — these were mainly subconscious patterns of my inner child, trapped in a whirlpool of negativity.
My emotional neediness, low self-esteem, need for approval, fear of being abandoned, pattern of comfort-eating, fear of public speaking were just a few of these patterns I found rooted in the psyche of the child within. It was astonishing to see just how quickly these weak, unhealthy patterns were rewired into strong, empowering ones by listening to her and nurturing her.
Since then, my little one has found a sunny sanctuary within my heart, and her innocence and joyful wonder have been restored, adding a shimmering vibrancy to my life experience. She has made it possible for me to steadily reclaim my personal power and spread my wings…
Sitting in a corner
Huddled in the dark
I found her sobbing
in anguish stark;
A child was she
Not more than six
Her broken heart
I longed to fix.
Approaching her gently
I knelt, sat down;
But instead of smiling
Looking up, she frowned.
“What do you want?
Go away,” she said
Her moist eyes glared
A fiery-red.
“I’m here for you
your confidante
you can trust me.”
“No, I possibly can’t…
… I’ve been let down
Hurt, shamed, betrayed
I feel worthless
Unloved, disgraced…
… Where were you when
they gave me pain
Misunderstood me
Poured all the blame?”
“Asleep,” said I
“unsure and lost
till the guide within
revealed true north…
… It’s been a long way
Till finally today
Behind an old door
I saw you there.
Look closely in
my eyes, you’ll see:
A grown-up version
Of yourself — it’s me!”
Hearing this, she
hugged me tight
she sobbed and sobbed
till her heart was light.
Since then, she laughs
and plays in the sun
feels safe and loved
Knowing we are one.
***
Tara Anand is a Life Coach & Counselor with a passion for helping women connect to their inner wisdom and make authentic, fulfilling choices. A certified Yoga Teacher and Counselor, she integrates her training in Mindfulness & Ashtanga Yoga and her own life experience in her work. Deciding to honor her inner voice at the age of 34 saw her life and identity profoundly transform — her memoir “Why The Lotus Blooms: Choosing To Stand Tall” gives an intimate account of her journey. Her writing has been featured in national publications, the international poetry anthology “Where Journeys Meet: The Voice of Women’s Poetry“, and on leading blogs such as NAMI and Rebelle Society. Tara is based in India and can be contacted via her website or Instagram.
***
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