Be My Witness. {poetry}
{source}
Be my witness.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Watch me as I peel away layers that wrap me in resistance. See my soul through your perceptional mirrors. Is it familiar? What am I? Who are you?
Who are we but each other? The same cells, bones and blood. The same fusion of fear and love. I trust that you trust me as I enter a new flow. Like a tire with a puncture, I’m letting myself go. Exhaling the pressure and releasing my air as I remove my snare.
Hold me in this safe space, and please do not fear me. Thank you, my love, for allowing me to be me. Thank you for supporting me in my transitional healing.
You see past my ego’s masks. I appreciate you honoring my heart’s wish to express
and for admiring my soul’s desire to extend in experience.
I thank you for not judging my body’s need to regurgitate stress.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Be my witness.
Sobbing, I pull each knife out. One by one, each blade is sharper than the last.
“What the fuck did they do to me?” I scream and I shout.
“Why was I not enough?”
“Did I not deserve love?”
My head spins in a chaos of fury igniting a boil in my blood. Blood and sweat. Sweat and tears.
“This was their fucked up shame-ground!”
“This was their horror movie!”
I was cast as an actor in their production of unraveling gore, rehearsing line by line their dysfunctional story.
I pass back the mic, trading in film-star lies for fairy tale truths. I go deeper as I open my wounds.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Be my witness.
Anger riddles its way in and out of my bones. My crown has fallen and I am far from my throne, all scared and alone.
My eyes weep and weep, for what they have encountered blinded parts of them to sleep. My heart’s agonizing despair breaks loose. I’m wailing out years of sadistic, self-inflicted abuse.
“Fuck you! Fuck you!”
Purging self-hatred. Shaking out shame. A realization that I am not to blame.
Feeling rather sorry for myself because guess what?
“It was fucking wrong!”
“I was not valued or respected!”
“Why was my sexual innocence neglected?”
A dangerously dysfunctional shadow was fed and fed, growing larger and larger until…
“Help me?”
But by then I was already spiraling into darkness.
I’m coughing now. Heaving up their soul-shit. And through it all, within my stone-cold heart, a candle is lit.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Be my witness.
My scars of sadness open up and bleed, filling the crevices within all parts of me.
Torment and humiliation raise their voices, eager to destroy me.
The unknown creeps up behind me with its haunting silence, lying its way into my conscious desires.
An emotionally numb, speechless part of me begs to be seen. Longs to be heard.
I bare questions within questions, upon a mountain of questions.
Why me? Why then?
How did it feel? Are you sorry?
Do you remember?
Will I ever? Should I ever? How can I ever?
I can hardly breathe. It barely makes sense. A never-ending vortex of mystery and pretense, which continues to disperse for as long as I allow it to. Only when I allow it to.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Be my witness.
I’m letting it go. I’m gripping on tight.
I spell out my revelations with forgiving affirmations.
I remain compassionate in my intentions. My lesson was to be and become all that I am whilst melting my soul’s karmic ties.
My lesson was to love unconditionally. To honor myself and others with integrity. My lesson was to learn the meaning of value and worth, and practice this wholeheartedly.
My lesson was to understand the beauty in honesty, and to remain humble in my journey of authenticity.
My lesson was to heal myself through transmuting pain and sorrows, coming back to my heart’s wish for a tomorrow. And now I am here.
Observe me bow down to the power within me.
Be my witness.
I stand and I rise, turning a transformative page in my mind. I give thanks for my knowing, breathing in my truth which radiates through my entirety.
I fall to my knees with my arms open wide as I receive God’s gifts of the Divine. Tears are now laughs of joyful surrender. I beam with excitement to be awake and alive.
I am grateful for the gift of being able to identify all that I was. Acknowledging all that I became and why. Finding peace with all that I am now and will be in this physicality and in this lifetime.
I am an eternal experience.
My experience shapes me. My experience saved me. I give all thanks to the story that made me.
Observe me bow down to the power within you.
I will be your witness.
Look into my eyes and see yourself.
I am within you and I am within me.
I’ll peel away each layer until all you know is me. The Divine.
I’ll observe you bow down to the power within you.
I will be your witness.
***
Zoe Michael is a passionate Reiki Healer, practicing since 2015, who also enjoys offering additional services which include Intuitive Energy Massage, Sound Healing and Soul Journey card readings. Zoe has a wide array of skills with experience and professional work within Retail Management, Theater In Education, Acting, Student Workshop Facilitating and Teaching. As a passionate people-worker and lover of all things creative, Zoe has decided to continue on her soul path of supporting others through their spiritual awakening. She is currently in the process of writing a book which will share some of her most intimate and transformative life experiences. Through her book, she aims to empower the lives of others by teaching self-acceptance, forgiveness and self-love. Zoe wishes to continue her poetic journey, and aims to inspire and support people on their path of self-discovery and enlightenment.
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