He says he’s sorry. We look away. He’s a father. We look away. He’s active at church. We look away. What are we looking away from and why are we doing it?
No one will convince me that the goings-on in our childhood didn't impact my brother's life in such a way that will forever be difficult to come back from.
This joke was not the product of haplessly old-fashioned, harmlessly sexist men. It was purposeful, deeply misogynistic violence, passed off as joking.
The way to repair the home (the body) after sexual abuse is to stay. Don't get a new house. Don't throw it all out and away and try to outrun the past, for it is is always there.