I noticed an effervescent undercurrent that accompanied my panic and first trimester symptoms: a quiet, stabilizing joy. This has continued to expand within me throughout my pregnancy, outpacing even the growth of my belly, like a protective aura.
I am your shoulder, your rock, here for you at the drop of a hat; but I will not burden you with my messiness, my feelings -- especially my pain. I am a codependent partner who bears the agony, the demons and the manipulation of my alcoholic boyfriend.