In the buttery, iron taste of the aftermath, food will not fill me. A pill will not clear me of this, and sleep does not always lend itself to rest. The frothing surface of lingering promises shields the unknown sediment, sinking below. Every lie we tell ourselves haunts me, ripping apart my heart.
I wanted so badly to un-see that my marriage was unsustainable if I wanted to grow, but I couldn’t. So I was faced with a terrifying decision: stay, and shrink; or leave, and hurt, and grow.