Now that I have a choice, I want someone who will choose me back. I used to think I was searching for someone to have and to hold, but I know now I am searching for someone with practice in letting go.
At the meditation retreat,
I cried in the shower.
I cried for so much bullshit.
raw and exposed,
and feeling so close
to something real and constant,
I let loose.
I've had relationships like this in my life. I have spent nights sobbing on the couch in my husband's arms, or lying in bed reliving situations in my head and asking myself over and over and over again: Why? Replaying how hurt I have felt, how neglected, how forgotten, how invisible. Holding my ...