Yes, you always won on your own terms, but on their playing field... You allowed yourself to be co-opted into their reality; winning at the wrong game means losing 'you'.
How could I have known it wouldn’t kill me to dip my toes into that sea of pain in me if I couldn’t see the bottom? I didn’t know who I was without it or what I was here for, so I couldn’t possibly trust who you were, even though you demonstrated your integrity time after time, your kindness, ...