I can 'feel it with my spirit'. And the mind cannot stand this, it fights fiercely against this answer: I can feel it. Because the mind wants an absolute.
You have so much spirit. To keep looking for love in spite of the bullies, in spite of your difficulty communicating with the multitudes of slower thinkers.
My creative spirit has been inside of me, trying to claw its way out, and I have continued to shove her down the steps, lock the door and toss away the key.