We’re All Going To Hell: Will You Burn With Me?
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I was told at a very young age that I was going to hell.
As a child, those were the most horrid words that were ever spoken to me. The nightmares, the fear and loathing of my future consequences constantly gripped my little heart. But I didn’t know how or what I was actually afraid of — a red horned man? A nasty place? WTF.
The picture (in my mind) was bleak.
The crystalline gospel that God is Good, and you (and I) are bad didn’t soothe my internal worry. I was destined to burn in the hellfires below, and I felt so alone and unprotected. What kind of horror to instill on a child!
My mother, in her most loving and patronizing way, tried to reassure me that I wasn’t headed to eternal damnation — but she cautioned me — and her tone really wasn’t that convincing. So out of general fear, and with nothing to lose, my rebellion and questioning started.
It didn’t take long to figure out that if the plans were already laid, it couldn’t get much worse, so I ran with it.
I questioned authority, authenticity, the worldly dos and don’ts with a lighthearted passion. Life became a game of see how far I can go, see how many buttons I can push on the rigid stupidity of nonsensical fairy tales we are fed and try to figure out what the truth really is.
This attitude created problems within problems, however it was nothing short of complete joy to my impish soul. I delighted in the agitation I instigated — no remorse. I earned my status as the black sheep, the rebel, the untamed child, and I did my very best to keep up with those titles.
I had this incredible wanderlust ignited by the need to know more than just basic fodder. I needed to — wanted to — satisfy my curiosity, and I truly didn’t understand why that was such an issue.
Here is what I found out:
1. People with authority don’t like to be questioned or challenged. It stabs at their ego, their power and their glory. It insults their intellect and hurts their narrow vision. They are taken aback when queried, and the opposition immediately becomes the enemy. Really?
This tweaked my heart. All I wanted was a figurehead to have compassion, to have gentle tonalities, not condescending irritation when earnest questions were asked.
The concept of arrogance was quite a puzzle to me (and still is) but what I do know now is this: there is a lot of insecurity laced in so-called power and intellect, and intellect is no match for grace.
I also know a lot of very smart people who shield themselves with knowledge, yet have no wisdom, no heart, and no soul. What a shame. To me that is hell and burning up kindness is wasted energy.
2. Curiosity does not kill the cat. It just tends to take you to some darker corners. But if we don’t ask, the answer will always be vapid. The amount of rules and regulations that go unquestioned is mind-blowing, and nobody thinks twice about them (except me).
And I have to say, Why, why, why does it have to be like that? We hear, “It is for your own good.”
Perhaps, but I would like to make that call if ya don’t mind. And if the sign says No, you can best believe that is a lie. There is always a Yes, but it can involve pissing people off.
The worst thing we can do to ourselves is accept what doesn’t align in our heart. To simply take things at their face value diminishes the fire inside we all have to know. That is death, that is surrender, and that is another form of hell.
3. Change scares the sh*t out of people. I have seen this trap we call comfort meticulously squeeze the life out of people and leave them longing for a breath of clean air. Habitual ways, concepts and shoulds cloud the vision. Then the world as we know it becomes colorless and dreary.
But change is imminent, transcendent, and when it is taken out of context, it can be intimidating, yet so incredibly beautiful, as well. Stagnation only breeds toxicity, and that aroma is hard to take. Boredom is dangerous and indeed dancing with the devil.
Why deny what we are? We are the epitome of change in motion — don’t let the mind dive into the deception of fear; that is a desperate and lonely road. Let’s change it, embrace it, love it up. The best gift ever is going with the flow.
If the insistence is for all to remain the same, it turns to the hellfire of tedium, and it hurts.
Learning to play with the flames of the underworld is risky business — it has its moments of greatness and great disappointments, but so does life.
I wish it was understood that every rule has a crack, and can be broken. Every judgment has a pardon, and can be forgiven, and hell is only what you make it out to be. We are powerful, amazing humans with a mind that truly can do anything.
Burn with me? Or burn alone, just let me know and I will save you a seat.
*****
Debbie Lynn realized at a very young age that the outer reality was a far cry from her inner truth, and meeting her inner wisdom head on always turned into a challenge. The wonderment, curiosity and hypocrisy of life led to exploration and a cumulative documentation (art and journaling) of what she lovingly calls ‘the purge’. It is her way of ridding any negative energy from the daily grind. She says, “In essence, it is a way to start fresh and cleanse the soul.” Debbie has had numerous articles published in Elephant Journal, The Edge Magazine and Simple Steps Real Life Magazine. Her daily posts can be found on Facebook.
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