archives

We Had To Be Apart To Find Forever Love.

{source}

{source}

One day you’ll ask me where I have been all of your life. I want to be able to say that I was becoming the woman you needed me to be.

I want to be able to smile and tell you I was busy growing into the woman meant for you. Don’t you see?

I had to be without you in order to deserve you.

I had to take this lonely road that was only ever lonely when I made it so. I’ve seen a lot, so far, on this journey of mine. I’ve walked next to the sea and smelled hope in the breeze. I’ve fallen near the edge of a cliff where my sanity fell over. I’ve skipped through fields where my childhood lies between the trees.

I’ve run from my fears, crashed into boulders, and climbed over my inhibitions.

I’ve seen the sun rise plenty of times, but I’ve always liked watching it fade. I like seeing it fall below the horizon and knowing tomorrow is ahead of me. I like knowing my best days are still left on the journey, and that what I left behind was meant to be; what I left behind had made me, and now lives inside the sun.

I’ve learned a lot about myself on this passage, and I know it’s not nearly complete. I still have a lot of growing up to do before finding you. I need to learn to listen to the whispers of my heart before it breaks and screams too late. I need to understand my innate necessity for emotions and how I survive off of feeling too much.

I need to trace my scars and remember why they matter, because they do.

Along the way I’ve fallen in love, in lust, and deep into mistrust.

Throughout this path I’ve met face to face with regret, but I always preferred when I met with joy. The dirt from the road lines the underneath of my fingertips, but it reminds me that I eventually learned to stand. The gravel stains remind me that life is better dirtying things up for risk than staying jaded and spotless.

I’ve lost my laughter, my happiness, my dignity, and plenty of other things along the way. Somehow, I always manage to find them when I get lost and out of place. I also picked up some things like resilience, integrity, and a good joke every once in a while.

I even found my love for words again; it was nestled between two fallen trees because they knew that heartbreak is always necessary.

I’ve met some wonderful people on this path, too. Even though some of them stayed behind, they each had an impact on this life. And I know eventually you’ll be at one of my crossings. From there we’ll walk straight into tomorrow and into the falling sun. But until then I’ll run left, right, and dance in circles underneath the clouds.

I will bruise my lungs from laughing too much and cut my arms from spinning too quickly.

I will be a mess when you see me, but isn’t the thought of that lovely?

When we meet, we would have been through so much on our own. When we touch, we’ll be touching a thousand memories on each other’s skin. When we kiss, we’ll be able to tell the real love from the counterfeit.

When we smile, we’ll know why the sunrise was never enough for either of us. We’ll know why we always preferred to watch it fade. We’ll know why we needed to take this topsy-turvy way.

So don’t mind if I take my time, and I apologize for the delay. I would like to make sure I’m as imperfectly perfect as I can be to match the missing pieces of your soul. I want to learn so much about myself so I can tell you all about the girl you were born to love.

I want to deserve to hear your history and what you saw on the road before you saw me.

So I won’t be looking for your footsteps or following any trail. I’ll be guided by my intuition and listen to my heart. I will work on being the best version of myself with every mistake that it takes. I will keep moving forward, stride by stride, until destiny finds me worthy of your heart — and you of mine.

One day, you’ll ask me where I’ve been all your life. Isn’t the answer just lovely?

We had to find our way, separately, to one another. We diverged, only until we found forever.

 

Comments

Rebelle Society

Rebelle Society

Rebelle Society is an online hub for writers, artists and creators sharing their stories and celebrating the Art of Being Alive. Join us on Facebook & Instagram for inspiration and Creative Rebellion. Join our Rebelle Insider List along with thousands of Dreamers & Doers around the world for FREE creative resources, special discounts on our programs, soul fuel & motivation to love and create your life.
Rebelle Society
Rebelle Society

Latest posts by Rebelle Society (see all)

Rebelle Society