Your New Life Philosophy: The Fuck-It Bucket.
These are the three most important words that you’re going to read today, this year, forever:
Fuck.
It.
Bucket.
What Is the Fuck-It Bucket? Good question.
The Fuck-It Bucket is a rhyming mantra of magic that will revolutionize your world, if you let it.
Let it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is a tongue-in-cheek, heart-in-mouth philosophy of life that will improve your future, if you permit it.
Permit it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is a no nonsense, hilarity-promoting, adventure-assisting, stress-relieving framework that will enhance your existence, if you allow it.
Allow it!
The Fuck-It Bucket is the bastard child of Shit happens and Don’t worry, be happy.
I’m not sure what else to say about the Fuck-It Bucket, except that I can’t imagine my life without it.
How do you make a Fuck-It Bucket? Good question.
Step One: Acquire a bucket. Options include purchase or theft.
Step Two: Write Fuck It on the side of the bucket. Options include paint or markers.
Step Three: Stand back and admire your new life-changing possession.
Step Four: Use it.
In case you need ideas for the design of your bucket, here is a photo of mine. I opted for yellow paint and polka dots, but the choice is yours, the options are many, and you can do whatever you like as long as you decide to do it. That’s exactly the point of the Fuck-It Bucket.
{Photo credit: Jeremy Goldberg}
Where did the idea for the Fuck-It Bucket philosophy come from? Good question.
As much as I love the Fuck-It Bucket, the phrase is not mine. It’s adapted from a story by David Sedaris in which his crazy brother owns a bucket filled with candy because, “When shit brings you down, just say ‘fuck it!’ and eat yourself some motherfucking candy!”
Fair enough.
That’s a tremendously admirable idea, but it’s also a narrow solution to a general problem. Consequently, improvements are possible.
My friends and I adopted the bucket as our own, albeit with an expanded and more personalized approach. Eventually, this magical bucket evolved into a marketplace of emotional trading in which burdens went bankrupt, positivity paid dividends, and the worry to joy exchange rate skyrocketed.
How do I use the Fuck-It Bucket? Good question.
Originally intended as a literal bucket filled with hard candies and bite-sized chocolates to console the stressed and the broken, our version transformed itself into two complementary components: an instantaneous stress reliever (the reactive bucket) as well as an amorphous excuse for saying Yes (the proactive bucket).
Thus, we took the mysterious and infinite magic of the bucket and gave it a makeover. Instead of just simply eating yourself some candy, we proposed that you live yourself some life. It’s hard and it’s scary, but fear not — the Fuck-It Bucket is your ticket to ride.
1. The Reactive Fuck-It Bucket.
This is the original David Sedaris version, but instead of filling the bucket with candy, we fill it with regret, guilt, pride, ego, negativity, pain, heartache, depression and all of the other dark and negative crap that we have to deal with throughout our life. We choose to put it all in the bucket. All of it.
We choose to put it all in the bucket, and then we choose to shout Fuck it as loud as possible.
Forget about taking candy out. Put bullshit in. Figuratively, yes, but also literally, if you need to.
Write down your problems on scraps of paper, roll them into a ball, and toss them into the bucket. Throw in your disappointment, your expectations, and your heartache. Throw in your shame, your worry and your anxiety. Dump in all of the negative thoughts that enter your brain each day.
Even one negative thought is too many — add it to the bucket.
Next, realize what’s done is done. The past has passed. It’s over, and you cannot change what happened, only how you respond. The Fuck-It Bucket philosophy requires your response to include four key steps: put your worries in the bucket, shout Fuck-It Bucket out loud, smile, and then go kick some ass at life.
2. The Proactive Fuck-It Bucket.
This is the new and improved Long Distance Love Bombs version in which we use the bucket as an excuse to live the hell out of our lives. In this version of the bucket, we give ourselves permission to follow our dreams, live bolder lives and take more chances.
The bucket is thus our excuse for extraordinary, our crutch for greatness, and our support system for adventure. A few examples:
“I don’t have the money for that once in a lifetime trip to Bali… I”ll charge it. Fuck-it bucket.”
“I have no idea how this is going to work and nobody believes I can do it, and I’ll probably fail, so I don’t even want to try… I’ll do it anyway. Fuck-it bucket.”
“I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, tall enough to fulfill my dream… Actually, I am. Fuck-it bucket.”
Some would call this an irresponsible approach to life, and that’s fine. I’m okay with that. Why? Because sometimes being irresponsible is the most responsible thing you can do. Everything in moderation, including moderation. Go big or go home.
Live Your Best Life.
What about what other people think? Good question.
The haters, the naysayers and the non-believers will never go away, and they will always have their opinions. Don’t listen to them. Don’t let their fears stand in the way of your dreams. The anteater doesn’t give a shit about what the ants think, and neither should you.
Put the doubters in the bucket, and while you’re at it, go ahead and try out courage for a change, just to see how you like it. Take bravery for a test drive, and see if it treats you okay.
Take a chance. Make a move. Shake things up.
Think of a life that makes your eyes grow wide and your heart beat faster.
Think of every excuse you can think of as to why that would never work, never happen, never become a reality, and toss it all into the bucket, all of it, and then get to work.
And if you fail, what then? Good question.
You’re right back where you started, but now you’ve learned a lesson, and what’s more, you have a story to tell.
That story is life. Go and live it, and if things don’t work out, repeat after me:
“Fuck-It Bucket!”
Many thanks to Mr. Deakin and Mr. Canfield for the inspiration.
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