The path to the box was cluttered with dreams.
Boxes of trophies, and thin skinny jeans.
Also bags under eyes, and grandma’s old quilts
And other reminders of all her past guilts.
Have I become so comfortable in my discomfort, so accustomed to dying in my daily living, that I now embody a midnight mask to replace the false cheeriness of my childhood's plight? And what if I am not either or, but both, strands of black and gold that weave the web of my spider's heart?
I’m so thankful that my wise 12- year-old self knew it wasn’t truly about the boy. It was a spell I was casting on myself. It was, ultimately, a lifeline in a challenging passage.
In this year of completion, knowing life is not completed, but experienced and perceptive, I hope to spend more time with the stars to learn more of their secrets on simplicity with shining bright as a guide.
It is terrifying, arduous and painful work to discover, accept, and embrace all of who you really are, to let go of the story of being unseen, and to leave behind the paradoxical safety and comfort zone of your chaotic banging-around pain. It may feel insurmountable or impossible to believe ...
Perhaps I should have listened to you when I lost my father. When childhood was stolen from me. When my innocence was taken without my permission. When my marriage fell apart. These were my secrets I wanted to keep.
We have societal rules based on perfectionism and obedience to an invisible presence of higher control. Calculating decisions based in self-hatred, ridicule, and even well-intended love begins to set fear-based consequences in motion. We have learned to self-medicate with dangerous emotions, ...
The refining process is dependent on the relationship you have with failing. When the refining process becomes the creative central focus of your actions, as opposed to the failure that it spawned from, you will feel like you did when you were a kid. You could always fly.